Words are powerful.  That was the title of my first blog.  They have the power to change lives for the better or for worse.  I have been watching and listening to the words being spoken by many different people since the shooting at the congressional baseball practice a couple of days ago.  I’ve heard inspiring words about this being a catalyst to bring people together in civil discourse.  I’ve heard how we need to draw a line in terms of the violence of our speech and thoughtfully consider the meanings of our words.  I’ve heard words blaming one side or the other for these violent words leading up to to this incident and others around the world.  I’ve heard sarcasm, distasteful humor and hate, all expressed in words through news outlets and social media.  We’ve seen that there are so-called adults who can’t handle philosophies different than their own and their need to resort to violent words, pictures and actions.  My question is, are we thinking of what we’re doing to our children?

Children today have access to so much information conveyed in so many different mediums.   Again, referring to my childhood dark ages, my information came from my parents, teachers and the three channels I was able to get on my TV.  Most people seemed to care about what children should see and hear.  Censors decided if words and actions were appropriate to be shown in people’s homes.  Now, as a musician, I don’t believe in censorship, but some thought needs to go into what we allow children to see and hear, especially by those adults closest to them. I believe that in those days, most parents tried to shelter their children from things they didn’t need to deal with.  I say most, because there have been and will always be those adults who are immature or damaged enough that they have to lean on children to feel better.  This sheltering didn’t mean not teaching responsibility or accountability; it was just understood that you didn’t expose children to certain things until they could mentally and emotionally handle it.

Children are concrete, not abstract thinkers and they see everything as it revolves around them. So it makes sense that when they hear something they maybe shouldn’t have to deal with, that they will internalize it and make it about them and use it in concrete ways.  I know because I work with children every day.  These are not bad children but I’m concerned with the words and emotions that come from them.  They come with unkind and sometimes violent words against others and ideologies that are too adult for their ages.  They quote things they have heard adults say, not understanding what the words really mean.  I have heard children say they are afraid, that they want to kill certain people, that people of other colors should go back to their countries.  Children don’t know if they agree or disagree with specific policies, but they repeat what they’ve heard and they use disrespectful words to describe people because of that.  And if they can do that with people they don’t know, what stops them from doing that with their families, classmates and others in their communities.

“Children may not obey, but children will listen”.  A line from Sondheim’s song Children Will Listen.  In my own life, I struggle with the words I heard as a child.  Words spoken against other groups or “types” of people by my parents, some spoken in hushed tones. Because of that, I tend to look at groups of people through sterotypes and have to stop myself to think differently.  Any teacher will tell you it is harder to reteach than to teach correctly in the first place.  My philosophies are based on that tape in my head, full of things I listened to, so my later experiences and my intellect have had to fight that sometimes. So much of what we’re saying in front of our kids or letting them hear is not going to make the world better, it going to make it more violent, justified by the fact that in our country we have free speech.  But with real freedom also comes responsibility and accountability.  This week, I think our congressmen found out first hand that from violent speech comes violent action from some. It just makes me think –

What will you leave to your child when you’re dead?

Only whatever you put in it’s head.

Things that your father and mother have said

which were left to them too.

                                                            Stephen Sondheim

As adults, we have to work to stop the violence by first considering the words we allow around children.  Words are powerful.