My parents were an interesting couple.  Dad was born and raised in Chicago.  His mother and Ernest Hemingway’s mother were neighbors for a time in Oak Park.  There was a strong emphasis on education and the arts, as most of my dad’s family was involved in music, some professionally.  There was no country living and as he used to say when asked about eating outside “if we were meant to eat outside we would still live in caves”.  Food was from the grocer and heavily German.

My mother on the other hand was the daughter of itinerant farmers who traveled between Kentucky, Indiana and Ohio, where she was born.  Changing schools often, she finally decided to quit school, later finishing her GED. She was taught early how to cook a lot of food for farm hands and it was family style, very country, lots of frying and things fresh from the garden.  My parents met in the Air Force and married and a blending of cultures of sorts began.

Being a traditional couple, dad was head of the household in terms of what he wanted on the table, and he expected mom to cook in the way he was used to eating, so I only remember eating things from cans, boxes, plastic bags and packets. While I knew of course where things came from (well, most of it), I had never seen it grown, raised, picked, etc.  Well, I did try to help my grandmother get eggs from her chickens once, but I left traumatized. And a lot of things that people eat outside, say for instance, roasted over an open fire, were never introduced to me well, because of dad. So the irony is, here’s the city girl, who meets this great country guy, and the learning begins. Just a few examples:

Fish is not square.  I never ate fish unless it was square or a stick.  I knew what fish looked like, but never really considered how they got into that square.  Doug’s dad fishes and his mom cooks that fish. The night I watched her grab those still wiggling fish out of the bucket and filet them was a whole different thing for me.  Coated in crumbs and fried however, they are amazing.

Corn grows where?  Doug grew up just around the bend in the hollow from his grandparents, so we would often walk from his parent’s house to his grandparents and take the boys.  One time it was just me and his grandmother with the boys and one of them asked, “mom, what part does the corn grow on?”  I had no idea, but thought I could just figure it out by looking at it, so I gave a response, to which Doug’s grandmother replied, “Oh Judy.  Don’t tell them stories!”  I laughed like I was in on this “story”, but obviously I had blown it.

Everyone in Nebraska drove a tractor when they were a kid and knows the difference between makes of tractors.  So now I live in Nebraska – a little bit city and a lot of country. I have literally sat at meetings where EVERYONE talks about their experiences driving a tractor. And these were music meetings!  I have NEVER to this day driven a tractor and not sure I want or need to.

You can eat squirrel?  One of the first times I dropped in on Doug’s parents his mother looked at me and actually said out loud, “well, I guess we won’t have squirrel tonight”.  Do have have that kind of look?  And who would actually eat a cute little squirrel? Or rabbit?  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

I share all of this because I have had two more simple “firsts” in my life recently.  You’ll probably laugh, but I ate my first s’more the other day and shelled fresh peas for the first time yesterday.  And both were yummy! Besides never being too old to learn new things, it leads me to these last thoughts about how having even the smallest new experiences can change you, little by little.

First, admit it if you haven’t experienced something.  You could be missing out on something cool if you don’t try it or at least learn more about it.  I always say that to my kids, but applying it to myself can be a different thing. I mean, at my age it can be embarrassing  to admit you’ve never experienced certain things before!  Secondly, you can never assume that everyone has had the same experiences that you have.  Understand that because they’ve had different experiences, they have different perceptions and beliefs than you do.  It comes from way down deep and has helped to create who they are.  Lastly, you cannot judge people based on their experiences or lack of.  Maybe they’ve never had the opportunity to experience things that you have.  Maybe it runs against their belief systems or culture.  Or maybe it’s just different, period. We can only share with each other and educate each other from a point of love and openness.  How else will they learn that fish is not square?