Back in our college days, my husband and I were a part of a wonderful Christian music group.  When we got engaged, the people in this group threw us a great engagement shower, and the gifts consisted of cans of food to start our first pantry.  Only there was a catch – there were no labels on the cans.  So after we were married, meals became a sort of adventure.  Without a label, there were no preconceived notions and we had to open it up and really look to see what was inside.   Labels can be very helpful when we need information, but when we start to believe that all cans of peaches are the same just because they’re labeled as peaches, then we can miss out on the delightful (or not so delightful) differences between those peaches.

In our society we label how a person behaves, what they look like, their gender, their sexual preference, their political leanings, their economic and educational status, how they speak and where they’re from, and the list goes on and on.  And then we decide whether or not we agree with or like them based on the labels. The problem is that we tend to label by what we observe from the outside, but very seldom do we delve into who that person really is behind the label.  We can take one thing a person says or does and immediately throw a label on it, without understanding the “why” that person said or did it or the personal experience that brought them to their statement or action.  Then we proceed to presume all kinds of intentions based on that label.  And we start using additional derogatory words and labels to describe them because if they said or did these things, surely they’re kin to the devil.

To be honest, what REALLY hacks me off is when we label children in the educational world.  For a child especially, a label can be limiting or an excuse for them to continue the way they are.  It can stay with them their entire lives. And as educators, we do it with the best of intentions.  We do it to provide services for that child or to assist classroom teachers in how to “handle” the child’s issues so they can still learn.  Not to knock the professionals who are diagnosing these kids, but just let me give you an example of looking past the label.

I had a student a few years ago diagnosed and labeled ODD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  He had a habit of having temper tantrums, yelling and throwing things in class.  The usual procedure was to call and have someone else deal with him, but I happened to have a student teacher, so I got him to walk outside my room with me and sit down and talk.  He was so tense and he shared that he was just so angry and he didn’t know how to handle the anger.  I asked him why he thought he was so angry and he shared that people yelled and hit him all the time and he wasn’t allowed to hit back.  He had just built up so much anger.  I shared this with administration of course, but the other thing I did with him was first of all, stop judging him for the behavior and secondly, from personal experience, gave him some things that had helped me.  You see, the problem with labeling is that not everyone gets labeled correctly.  For me, the anger turned inward, for him it turned outward.  Because I did not exhibit the anger to others (I was a pleaser), everyone assumed I was just fine.  How many times do you think we mislabel people out of sheer ignorance?  It’s just easier to label things we see and not things or people we know.  Surely a person could never be more than their labels, right? And what about people who grow or mature and their labels evolve?  Do we allow people to change, or is it once labeled, always labeled?

Our culture/society is a complete mess today, I believe in large part due to the fact that  we have too many labels and not enough delving into what’s on the inside.  It’s going to be impossible to get along with anyone if all we do is look at their “labels” and immediately dismiss them because of one label or another that doesn’t agree with our labels.  The fact that we are all human beings with emotions and dreams should give us enough in common that we can celebrate our different labels as individuals.  I’m not suggesting that we have to agree with everyone here; even my own children have very different labels than my own and we still love each other for who we are.  It’s because we KNOW each other well.

I have a colleague whom I admire greatly (but respectfully disagree with in terms of our “labels”) who used very kind words to suggest that the reason he loved teachers was that we were so hopeful and perhaps a little naive in terms of the real world.  Well, in education we have a microcosm of the real world filled with labels that can either help us or hurt us.  So what do we do about these labels which don’t seem to be going away any time soon?  What is our intent when we share our labels with others?  Is it to show pride in who we are or is it to make others angry?  It’s the combination of those “labels” that makes each of us unique.  Let’s try to get past those labels and find the things we can all love inside.

Based on current labeling trends,  I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, mother-in-law, aunt, cousin, niece and friend; educator, musician, leader; military brat and mom, feminist, born again Christian, liberal, moderate or conservative depending on the issue and my passions, I am a married, heterosexual, white, college educated female.  I am middle class, middle-aged and overweight.  I am introverted by nature, extroverted when I need to be.  And probably so many more. But just like you and all those great kids I teach, I am so much more than my labels.