Safety Dave is kind of an ironic moniker for our middle son.  Dave is the kid who christened every place we ever moved to with blood.  He fell down the basement stairs as a toddler, stepped on a butter knife in a sandbox which went through the bottom of his foot, fell into the pit in the living room, just to name a few.  As he’s gotten older, he tends to break things – like bones for instance.  So, for a kid we nicknamed Safety Dave, he may not sound so safe.  No, Dave was and still is the “safety” guy, making sure doors are locked, seatbelts are on, dad isn’t driving while talking on the cell phone, and oh, mom and dad are home from a date at a reasonable time or he calls us.  Sweet and yet slightly annoying at the same time.  He’s actually locked me out of the house, once on the balcony of our apartment when he locked the door and went to his room where he couldn’t hear me knocking to get back in.  We’ve had a little talk since then.

Dave is one of those people always concerned about what MIGHT happen and he wants to do whatever he can to keep whatever it is from happening.  It gives him a feeling of security, but it also keeps him from taking risks.  He is a creature of habit, with routines and rituals that he is familiar with and that make him feel safe.  And he wants to extend that to others he cares about which is not a bad thing.  Are you one of those people who is afraid of what might happen if you step away from the familiar?

I have set up a little bird habitat on the balcony this year, originally because I was trying to keep these birds from tearing out all of the lining in my flower boxes.  So I have a bird feeder and water set out.  It’s actually worked pretty well for the pretty little finches who come to the balcony.  The robins and cardinals haven’t gotten the message yet, but I’ll just have to keep shooing them away.  Anyway, it’s given me a chance to just sit and watch the birds as they come to visit.  They all have the same routine; they fly onto the railing and look around for awhile, then they will fly to the feeder’s edge and look around for a little longer.  When they feel safe, they’ll jump into the feeder or in the water and have at it.  Same thing all day, every day.  Never trusting, always wary, but willing to go for it after they’ve made sure it’s ok.  Except for this one little guy who comes up to the window, looks in and walks around before he goes up to eat.  A little renegade who is willing to take a bit of a risk before joining his little friends.  Are you the cautious person who makes sure everything is lined up just right before you jump in, or are you the curious one checking out the unknown – still close to safety, but stepping out just a little bit?

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering where we’re going with this, but even I’m not sure because it’s not finished yet : )  Remember, these are “musings” – maybe it won’t go anywhere!  So, here’s the last thought.  While I was watching those birds today and eating lunch, I also had on Gilmore Girls (one of my favorites).  In this particular scene, college student Rory is doing a story on a secret group at school, and in this particular group are great risk takers.  She finds a way to join them to see what it’s all about and finds herself asked to join in on the activity.  The activity happens to be jumping off of a seven story scaffolding, while holding an umbrella attached to a harness of some kind.  She initially says no to this insanity, but is convinced by a friend to do it so that she can, for a moment, experience something exhilarating and life changing.  Taking a risk doing something that most people would think is crazy without overthinking it.  Something that a Safety Dave would never consider, something the bird would have to check out and analyze completely before diving in.  Well she does it and loves it and the result of this craziness is that Rory starts to question how she looks at life – is she too sheltered, too careful?  Is she experiencing all life has to offer or is she just settling because of  certain expectations or fear of the unknown?

I don’t know if I have any real conclusions here.  I believe some people just are the way they are, like those who have the “extreme gene”.  I believe there are those who do just fine going through life very carefully, doing the safe things.  Those are the people who think ahead and can warn us of possible issues or hazards in our paths.  And then there are those who for whatever reason, anxiety or other issues,  are just afraid.  Are we stuck with those personality traits or can we change?  If my life is any example at all, I believe with support from people who love us and being willing to take baby steps, we can get away from those things we’re afraid of and take more chances to experience more that life has to offer.  Life is too short not to try!