I thought I had heard it all, but this article was, well, let’s say eye opening.  And not in a good sense.  Seems one theory out there as to why the election came out the way it did is because there are apparently a lot of women who vote the way their husbands tell them to.  It may not be an out and out “hey you have to vote like this” kind of thing, but more of a “you know, if so and so wins the race this will happen to our family”.  This assumes of course that the majority of married women have no brains of their own.  And then, the author states that smart women are less likely to get married.  I might just have a little to say about this.

While I don’t claim to be a genius by any means,  I will tell you that that I have my own mind when it comes to things like this.  And most of the highly intelligent married women I know are the same way.   While we marry someone for a variety of reasons, likes and dislikes, most of us don’t marry someone because they’re going to tell us what to do. The smart women I know marry someone because they challenge us or are great to bounce ideas off of.  I am ultimately responsible for the choices I make but like any good relationship, it’s great to have that person you can brainstorm and debate with.

Smart people in general do not make important decisions in a vacuum and anyone who tells you they do is not very smart to begin with.  It’s important to see as many sides to a situation as possible and that’s not possible unless you talk to people with differing points of view and opinions.  After hearing and thinking about as many sides as possible, then it’s up to me to decide for myself.  And once I’m in that voting booth, nobody has to know but me.

But why even link intelligence to marriage?  Sure I can see if a woman is very career oriented and chooses to focus all her energies in that direction and not get married, good for her.  That has nothing to do with intelligence.  That’s a lifestyle choice.  Like any man could make.  While I know we have a long way to go in terms of equality it’s a little disconcerting to hear a woman say smart women are less likely to get married.  What ever happened to feminism where we support women, no matter their choices?  Why can’t I be smart AND married?

Maybe I can say this because I’m married to a person who lets me know how proud he is of me, my intelligence, and my hard work.  A person who stands beside me when I need it.  A man who has stepped in when I’ve asked him to but who will back off when I want to handle something myself.  A person who challenges the the way I think and allows me to challenge him.  And in the process, I think we’ve both become better people.  You see, a smart woman, IF she chooses to marry, chooses a person who will make her better and who she can make better as well.  That’s what relationships should be, whether you’re married or not.

I’m not naive enough to think there aren’t men out there who dominate their wives, but there’s nothing there that says these women aren’t smart.  I’m concerned that those of us with advanced degrees or certain privileges consider ourselves too high up on the totem pole to really listen as to why these women voted the way they did.  Can we all take a moment to see things from another person’s point of view?  Or do we just assume that just because they didn’t vote like us that they’re stupid or dominated by the men in their lives?  How do they perceive the world and how can we begin dialogue to begin to see things from their perspective?  After all, perception is reality, right?  Has nothing to do with intelligence.  It has to do with life experiences and circumstances, upbringing and background.

You may notice that I don’t say anyone is right or wrong here, other than smart women are less likely to get married.  I do have a problem with that, but that’s not the point here. It’s because this smart woman is trying to listen, trying to learn something so that things can be improved.  Somewhere I read that we should be still and listen.  Maybe then we can learn something from someone smarter than we are.