“You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!”.  My littles at school recite this when we’re passing things out.  Stole it from some wonderful kindergarten teacher at some point in my career.  Anyway, it’s always so funny when I pass out different colored scarves to my Kindergartners.  While I’m not a proponent of colors being “girl” colors or “boy” colors, I generally try not to give those perceived as “girl” colors to boys, just because some of the other boys may not be as enlightened as I and might make fun of their friends.  So, today, I’m passing out scarves arbitrarily and the first little girl says “that’s my favorite color!”  And then the next one says “that’s MY favorite color”.  And so it goes, each kid miraculously given their favorite color scarf.  Yes, I’m that good.

Now we all know this isn’t true, but the excitement is contagious and when one kid does it, they all do it.  Even something as simple as rhythm sticks.  Only two colors there but somehow I mange to give each child their favorite color.  Now of course, getting excited about the color of materials being passed out isn’t the only thing they copy from each other.  I don’t think I even need to talk about the fact that when one child needs to blow their nose, all of a sudden, they all do.  Or get a drink of water.  Or go to the bathroom.

Copying behavior is what little kids do and one of the reasons I love writing about them is that it’s usually so innocently positive.  Like last week, we finished playing a rhythm game and one of my little girls looked at me and said “I love school!”.  To which every other kid responded “I love school too!”.  What a wonderfully positive way to think and feel about a place of learning!  So, what happens to these same kids by the time they reach 5th grade?  Just asking.

For the most part, the way they treat each other is so beautifully innocent as well.  All kids holding hands, skipping together, giving each other hugs.  There are a few of those students who struggle with how to treat others, but for the most part kids are pretty sensitive and caring.  Again, as time goes on, things change, and unfortunately not for the better.  If they are copying the positive from each other at the beginning of their school years, where are they copying the negative from?

I’ve heard it takes two positives to negate a negative, as in a negative person.  So if I have a roomful of positive kids, one or two negative kids are not going to be an issue really.  But as kids get older, it seems the negative starts to take over.  Lack of patience, jealousy, tattling, unkind words, disrespect for each other and after a while, they start to feed off of each other.  The result is often one teacher trying to be the one positive figure in room, but eventually, the negativity will beat them too.

I wish I had an answer as to why this happens.  Why is it that kids are so sweet to special needs classmates in elementary school and then they ignore them in middle school?  Why are little kids so quick to give a hug to a friend and after a few years, it’s not cool anymore?  Is it from parents?  Older siblings?  Things they watch?  Is it something we’re doing as teachers that turn them into negative little beings who dislike school and develop cliques as early as 2nd grade?  All I know is that the longer I teach, the earlier it seems I see the negativity and the meanness and the lack of caring and respect for one another begin.  The wonderful innocence of “I love school!” goes away earlier than ever.

My personal theory is that as adults, and I’m talking about all of us, we allow kids to witness too much hatred and negativity at a younger and younger age.  The sheltering we used to provide to children is gone, and as little ones will copy what they see and hear, they begin to copy things they overhear adults say, and do what they see adults do.  And then I wonder why I hear some angry child say things like “I’m going to kill you” or “I hate you” and not think twice about it.  And I think about that bright bubbly Kindergartner who looked up at me and said  ” I love school” and wonder where that child has gone.  How do we keep children more positive in such a negative world?  I don’t have all the answers, but I’m concerned that if we don’t find a way, our world will become more negative than it already is and that’s a scary thought.  Let’s work to keep our children innocent and positive for just a while longer and maybe they will be the ones to make the world a better place where everyone gets their favorite color.