As each third grade class got ready to leave this week, I asked each of them to close their eyes and think of two things to share with the university students who had taught them the last several weeks.  The first was to think of something the students did well, something that would encourage them.  The second was to think of something that they thought the university students could do to improve their teaching.  While they were all good, and pretty insightful for 8 year olds, this one really struck me;

“You could improve on not being so shy, we are in third grade, we don’t care if you make mistakes”. 

Ah, out of the mouths of babes.  When did it become such a crime to make a mistake?  It doesn’t help that the media and social media are always analyzing people with a microscope, waiting like vultures for someone to make a mistake.  Mistakes sell. People seem to love it when others fail when the truth is, if we’re not making mistakes, we’re obviously not trying anything new or learning.

I noticed several years ago that my students seemed to be getting more and more afraid of making mistakes. Is it a result of all of the testing they have to do?  Possibly.  Is it because we tend to TEACH to the test?  Maybe.  All I know is that I had kids who were literally afraid of trying something new.  I had kids freeze up or burst into tears when asked to just try ANYTHING.  They wanted to know what the right answer was so that they wouldn’t make a mistake and look stupid.  The problem is, in improvisation for instance, there isn’t necessarily a right answer.  “Just tell me what to do!” they would say.  And all the encouragement in the world didn’t seem to make a bit of difference.  For the sake of not traumatizing these kids, I wouldn’t push them – Lord knows I didn’t want them to hate music on top of being afraid of trying it.

A lot of people feel like assessments, especially in music traumatizes kids all by itself.  I really believe that if you assess correctly, allowing for mistakes and for mistakes to be discussed and corrected that assessment can be life changing.  It should be more than just whether or not something is right or wrong.  It should be about progress and improving oneself.  It should be a way for someone to see if they are getting better at something, mastering a concept or skill.  It should be encouragement, not discouragement.

So, I made the conscious decision to make my room a safe place to make mistakes, including my own.  After all, what better way to demonstrate to kids that everyone makes mistakes than to admit when YOU make them, right?  And so I do.  And when I make a big mistake, I apologize and ask if I’m forgiven and they will say yes.  Which encourages them to do the same to others.  A lot of teachers are reluctant to assess a child’s singing because singing is something so personal and they don’t want the child to feel bad.  But I will tell you, that if you teach the kids in your class to learn how to help assess any problems as well, they will encourage their classmates to try something to make things better.  There is nothing better than to have a class full of kids giving suggestions to a classmate as to how they can raise their pitch.  They will suggest they sit up straighter and get more air or listen to the sound first in their head and then try again.  And they will applaud for them when they get it right.  If children can be taught to do that, why can’t some adults do that?

And so, the quote above for me is a beautiful thing.  It shows that my efforts may be paying off, that my kids not only see that it’s okay for them to make mistakes, but that they can encourage others not to worry about making mistakes as well.  It doesn’t matter that the university students are a decade older than them, my kids are beginning to understand that EVERYONE makes mistakes and that it’s okay.