Today the stars aligned, and not in a good way.  The period of time between Halloween and Christmas, especially at an elementary school is certainly a challenge for the adults in their lives.  And today, not only was it Halloween, but it was an early release day AND it snowed for the first time this season.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been a full moon.  The kids are so excited and to us, it’s just something that gets in the way of teaching and learning.  I admit, I’m one of those adults who looks upon this time with dread as classroom management can be a nightmare.

It’s not that I don’t remember being a kid during the holidays.  I went trick or treating with my brother.  I don’t remember us putting a lot of thought into what we wore; it was more of a “what do you want to wear tonight thing” and we would just make something up.  Thanksgiving was a lot of food and Christmas was all about gifts.  I remember the trappings of the holidays, but not necessarily the feelings associated with them.

When my boys were little, there were times when their excitement was just so visible.  I remember one of the boys coming out to the living room Christmas morning and he looked at the tree with  all of the presents and just shook with excitement.  And the morning all three woke up to new bikes.  Halloween sometimes consisted of doing an alternative thing at church or, as they got older, grabbing an old pillowcase and seeing who could get the most candy.  Again, I remember the visual, but it’s hard to reconstruct the feelings associated with it.

Tonight was the first time I had gone out with children for trick or treating in probably 20 years or more.  I was looking forward to it, but wasn’t looking forward to the cold.  When we arrived, Batman and Darth Vader greeted us at the door with smiles and hugs.  We sat for a quick dinner and we bundled up to go through the neighborhood.  At the ages of nine and four, most kids I’ve dealt with have gone trick or treating before.  However in this case, the nine year old had only gone once and the four year old had never gone.  So there were some rules set out by mom and dad and off we went.

And here’s where I hope I can describe the experience.  At the first house, the older boy led the way, ringing the doorbell, with the younger boy waiting behind him.  As the neighbor came to the door with candy, the boys yelled “trick or treat!” and the lady commented on how she loved their costumes.  Then she proceeded to put handfuls of candy in their little orange plastic pumpkin buckets.  I think that’s when it hit the four year old.  Okay, I go to a house with lights on, I ring the doorbell and they give me stuff.  He took off like lightning, now with the older one trying to keep up.  He got to the door, and not understanding that you only have to ring the doorbell once, pushed it several times.  A little more instruction on doorbell ringing.  Then off they ran, the excitement building with each doorbell and handful of candy.

The joy was palpable.  These were kids who didn’t take this for granted.  Everything that was happening was new and exciting.  They were with people who would hold their hands crossing the street and help them learn the in’s and out’s of the traditions of the holiday.  Their other “grandma” and I just kept laughing, not just because they were funny, but because the joy was contagious.  All of a sudden the cold and the long walk didn’t matter.  We were struggling to keep up with them and laughing all the way.

I’m starting to understand that this may be the joy of grandparenting.  As a parent, I was always too concerned with making sure they were behaving, or in the right place at the right time, or eating their veggies.  I remember being pretty uptight and I don’t think that I really stopped to experience the fun with them.  I regret that. I’m starting to understand that it’s not so much that grandparents spoil their grandkids, I think it’s that we’ve finally figured out that life is too short to waste it worrying about things that don’t really matter and that taking time to take in the joy is more important.  And it’s also my job to encourage the parents, letting them know that they’re doing a great job and letting them know it’s okay to relax once in a while and experience the joy themselves before it’s too late.  They’re only young once.

So tonight, on the craziest day of the school year, I’m grateful to have experienced Halloween through the eyes of Batman and Darth Vader.  Now I’m looking forward to Christmas!