Are you a “throw it in the dryer” kind of person or an “iron your jeans and underwear” kind of person?  Well, I’m a dryer person.  I’m most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt and if I could get away with it, I would wear that every day.  With sandals. One of the times I remember my mother getting most angry at me was when I told her I thought ironing was a waste of time and not something I wanted to do.  It was like I had personally insulted her. For her, I believe, ironing and taking care of how you looked was a sign of class. For me, not so much.  However, now, I work in a professional environment, and so I must dress in a professional way.  I’ve heard it said that you shouldn’t dress for where you are but for where you want to be.  Well, where I WANT to be is on a beach somewhere, but in terms of my career and my passion, I want to be in a place where I can make the most impact for the most people, and that usually requires that I at least try to dress the part.

So here I am, a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl in a business or business casual kind of world.  Well shoot, I’ll admit it, if I could be a bohemian, hippy kind of dresser and get away with it, I would.  Unfortunately, in our society, I’m not going to be taken very seriously that way, so I’m learning how to dress for where I want to go.  It’s a little bit frustrating because regardless of how I dress, I still have the same mind, heart and passion, but people can’t see those at first glance.  So I have to dress in a way that reassures people that I’m serious about what I’m doing or talking about.

I think what frustrates me the most however, is how impractical business wear for women can be.  While men have their basic suit, tie and flat dress shoes, women have to look professional, but not too masculine, not too feminine, skirts or dresses that can’t be too short or too long,  Flats don’t always look right with the outfit, but heels are uncomfortable.  I seem to remember a conversation last summer where men on Capital Hill talked about how sleeveless dresses and open toed shoes were inappropriate for women to wear in a business setting.  Does wearing these things hinder women’s thinking or contributions to the work that needs to be done?  Are these men distracted by arms and toes?  If so, I think they’ve got more problems than fashion sense.

But unfortunately, it’s the same everywhere.  Dressing more professionally gets you better service in restaurants and stores.  You’re treated differently on airlines.  Again, it’s still me, with the same attitude, smarts, socioeconomic status, but dressing one way gets me ignored, and dressing another gets me more attention.

My middle son experiences this type of treatment when he goes out.  He chooses to have longer hair and a beard and tends to wear jeans and casual shirts.  And people have literally walked to the other side of the street when they see him coming.  This is the most gentle, intelligent person you would ever want to meet, but his sometimes disheveled appearance concerns people.  Again, the assumption is that if you don’t really care about how you look, there must be something wrong with you.  For him, it’s not about how he looks, but how clean and comfortable he is.  It’s just HIM.  How many times have I judged people based on how they look before I’ve really gotten to know them? Far too many I’m sorry to admit.

And so this weekend, I fly to Dallas to meet with colleagues and I’m deciding what to wear.  How can I be that “dryer” girl and still look professional?  I’ll always envy those women on the board who can pull off the put together look with all the right shoes and accessories, but I’m working on figuring out who I am and what works for me in this environment.  Without the iron. And I should probably be more concerned with being prepared for the meeting than what I’m going to wear anyway, right?  Here’s to jeans and t-shirts!