Tomorrow morning begins the yearly pilgrimage downtown to attend our state music educators conference.  I can’t begin to compare a music conference to any other conference, because frankly I’ve never attended anything else.  I began attending conferences right after we were married as a spouse and when I finally began my own music training, I was an officer for our local MENC chapter.  Then for years, I went as a teacher, going to interesting sessions and seeing old friends, and having meals together.

I don’t know if other educational disciplines gather the same way, but musicians are passionate, excitable people.  There will be much hugging and many smiles as old friends greet each other in the exhibits and at sessions.  Many will gather at the end of the day in groups in the hotel bar area to catch up, talk about current practices and just relax.  There will be music playing in concert venues, an opportunity for some directors to share what their students are doing and an opportunity for others to learn from the performance.  I can’t imagine a math or reading teacher demonstrating their skill and the skills of their students in such a public way.

So, I’m still a teacher and still attending, but my perspective has changed.  While I still have more to learn (we all do), I now feel the desire and responsibility to teach others as well.  I have developed passions within the profession that I want to share with whoever will listen.  Granted, I can’t imagine anyone showing up to an 8:00 a.m. session on Advocacy, but maybe there are other nerds out there, right?  And, this year also brings a new experience; I’m presenting a session on relationships with Doug.

Now, you have to understand that we began to, or should I say attempted to teach together even before we were married. I quickly learned that this easy going guy could get pretty feisty if his teaching or drill writing were questioned.  That should have been a big red flag for me, but no.  So for the next 20 years or so, I taught band camp with him but we learned to stay away from each other. He stayed inside writing and I stayed outside teaching.  Whenever he came outside, I would stop teaching.  It stopped many an argument, let me tell you.  So now, for some crazy reason, we’re going to present a session together.

It’s a combination of two completely different teaching styles.  He is very quick on his feet and can vamp for days.  I, on the other hand need an outline, a powerpoint presentation and practice.  I have been on him to get the Keynote presentation together for a while.  The presentation is the day after tomorrow and he’ll have it finished tomorrow.  Well, at least he did one for me, right?

The session is appropriately about music educators and relationships.  There are MANY relationships for music educators, but the most complicated I think is when a musician is married to another musician.  Dealing with juggling kids, work, performances, football games, plays and trying to have a somewhat functional marriage is ridiculously hard.  But we’ve managed to survive for 37 years, so I guess we’re qualified to speak about it.

And why do this?  Because we’ve seen too many teachers making destructive decisions about and within their relationships where spouses, children, students and the community as a whole gets hurt.  Relationships are complicated and there no quick fixes, but hopefully if we’re honest and open about what we’ve experienced and how we’ve persevered this long, maybe we can help others.

So tomorrow begins yet another music conference, but it’s still full of learning and new experiences and I’m looking forward to being among “my people” again!