This morning I woke up next to my best friend.  My best friend for the past almost 40 years.  The guy who calls me princess, the one who tells me he’s proud of the work I do, the one who makes me feel safe and loved.  The only person I can be my true self with and he STILL loves me. Is he perfect?  Shoot no.  Have we had issues?  You bet.  We’re human after all. But I’m a lucky woman to have found a man of integrity to spend my life with.  There is so much negativity in the world right now, focused on men who have made the choice to not treat women with dignity and respect and it’s easy to get swallowed up in that negativity.  As I’ve shared before, yes, ME TOO when it comes to having a negative experience with some men.  I think most women have to some degree.  So it would be easy to not trust any men, especially if all you see are examples of the worst kind of men on the news and on social media.

I also have the opportunity to work with a lot of men and I have to say, most are professional men who work with passion and integrity and are kind gentlemen as well.  Sure, there are a couple who disappoint you with their behavior, but like Donny Osmond said, “don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch, girl!” Okay, cheesy, but you get my drift.

The problem here is, the nice guys, the ones who are working hard, loving their partners, spouses and families, living with integrity, never get the limelight.  We don’t focus on them because it’s more interesting to hear about the tawdry lives of those in power.  I think what got this started for me today, other than waking up with MY man of integrity, was reading the story about our basketball coach giving tickets to our recently dethroned football coach to a game, and the football coach showed up to support the university that just fired him.  The giving of the ticket was a gesture of respect for a fellow coach who showed the quiet dignity we should all strive to have in tough situations.  However, what did I see in the conversation thread?  “What, he can’t afford his own ticket”?  “One loser coach giving to another coach?  Did he even have to pay for it?”.  They completely missed the point that it was a kind gesture from one man to another, recognizing his integrity.

But we’re not about character anymore, it’s all about statistics and ratings.  A man is judged by his results more than the way he achieves those results.  IF he is a man of integrity and achieves results, that’s just a bonus.  As a society, we’re giving men so many mixed messages.  Work hard, be aggressive, do what you have to do to succeed, be in control.  After all, you’re not a man if you’re not in control of everything, right?  And in some cases, that means in control of women as well, at home and at work. They’re not allowed to be vulnerable, to show uncertainty, to listen and care because that’s not masculine.  It takes a strong man to regularly tell his sons that he loves them, to put others before himself, to support the dreams and aspirations of his spouse because that means he’s sure of who he is.

I would love to start a movement to recognize these great men.  A lot like the “I Love Public Schools” movement, something that documents and recognizes those men who just do what they do because they were taught to be and behave as men of integrity.  We need to begin recognizing men for all of the things they’re doing right and use them as the example of what we want our boys to become.  These men treat all people with respect, not looking for recognition, but striving to do the right thing everyday.  They’re out there.  I know.  Because I married one.  If you happen to read this post and know a man of integrity, why don’t you post a little bit about him to let us all recognize them.  Maybe while we’re making some men accountable for their inappropriate actions, we can also begin to thank those who make you grateful to wake up next to them in the morning or work with them everyday.