An obscure line from an X-files episode got me to thinking.  If one were to write a melody of my life, what would it sound like?   I’m pretty sure after all of these years,  it would be more of a symphony full of many different melodies rather than just a single melody.  And if I were to outline what that symphony might represent, what highlights and low points of my life would I choose?  Would it have a triumphant ending or a quiet fade out?

Just like a symphony, a life well lived is full of contrasts.   Crescendos and decrescendos, tempo changes, changes in timbre.  Does your life have a recurring theme or maybe a theme and variations?  Would people be able to recognize the theme as the real you?

Think about your childhood.  My childhood theme would be sparse. Few bright instruments, maybe a flute, harp, things that trigger pictures of make-believe and living through books and fairy tales. A few bright happy major passages with contrasting minor passages interrupting the happy theme.  I have few actual memories of my childhood but I have pictures of a pretty little girl, always in dresses with her hair just so.  A little princess theme with an underlying theme of fear and sadness.

The second movement would represent your adolescence/teen years.  How do you represent raging hormones through music?  What does uncertainty sound like?  I had a great foundation of band that took me through all of those years and made quite the impression on my life.  A solid foundation of a bass line with the fear theme making an appearance in the midst of the raging hormones music.  There would have to be a love theme (or perhaps a “crush” theme?) for all of the great guys I dated during those years.  It could be a solo played on the same instrument each guy actually played.  Pretty sure I hit every section except tuba and flute.  It could be an interesting second movement full of a variety of memories.

Movement three now brings in the love theme for the love of my life.  There will be times when the theme will be sad, sometimes happy, sometimes angry.  We would also have to add a theme for each one of my boys, perhaps layering the themes as our lives intertwine.  These years would be represented by a crazy fast tempo, more of the band theme contrasting with sad, overwhelming depression.  Highs and lows, fast and slows, happy and sad.  A roller coaster of emotions.

I’m in the midst of Movement four now and the boy themes have now added a couple of  of  feminine themes and they are not as intertwined with us anymore.  The love theme is strong, and our individual themes are just as strong and more independent than ever.  And while you would think the tempo would be slowing down, the music has become faster and more exciting.  Unexpected twists and turns happen in the music, making me  curious as to where it’s going to go next.  The roller coaster emotions have evened out and while some passages are unexpected, there is an overall feeling of calm in the music.  There is opportunity to relax and share the contentment with others now.

The evolution of the movements gives hope that through the turbulent passages there can be peace at the end.  The message is that if we keep working on our own music, it will eventually come to its intended cadence.  The great Composer has been using all of the earlier themes of my life to develop this symphony.  Being in the midst of the fourth movement means that I can make changes as the music develops rather than just allowing the music to happen to me.  The beauty of creating your own symphony of life is that everyone’s symphony is different, each representing the good, bad, ugly, joyous parts of your life. As the composer, you can always change the direction of the movement or the emotion of the movement.  The other movements have been played – they’re finished and you can’t go back.  You can only go forward in the music.  What direction is your music headed?  How will the music resolve?  I know that I’m excited to see the direction my melody is headed!