The class had left the room to go out to recess and I saw I had one little guy left.  He had on his knit hat that tied under his chin but hadn’t put on his coat yet.  So, I asked him if he needed help zipping and he said no, he needed help with his hat.  I HAD noticed that he had been messing with the ties for quite a while, but he is in Kindergarten and tying is a difficult skill to master.  Then I saw the problem.  He had tied it into this really tight huge knot right under his chin.  There was no way to get the hat over his head and this knot was really tight.  So I began messing with it for the next five minutes until the next class began filing in and he looked a bit nervous now.  So now I have a room full of 1st graders to deal with and a slightly panicked Kindergartner.  Thank goodness for the lovely paraeducator who entered the room with her student, and she proceeded to masterfully untie the knot while I got class started.  He happily skipped out of my room to go play at what was left of recess.

This kind of thing is not limited to hats of course.  Many times I’ve asked a student to take their shoe off during class and had to work on the knot while I continue teaching.  I’ve had kids tie their shoes together during class and I’ve made them walk back to their homeroom that way.  I know that sound mean, but they don’t tend to do it again after that. I actually had a kid tie his laces around the bottom of his shorts (they were very long) and he couldn’t stand up until we got the knot out.  These are things you can’t make up.

One of the funniest things was one day when I had my kids lay down on the carpeted floor to rest while we listened to music.  I always instruct them to lay on their backs, arms to their sides or on their chests, eyes closed.  However, these are kids and they like to rest curled up.  So, we finish listening to the piece and it was time to go so I had the kids line up at the door.  I look over and there is one little girl laying on her tummy with her head to the side not moving.  So I ask, in my best teacher voice of course, “honey, what were my directions?” to which she replies in a tearful voice “I can’t get up!”.  I go over and her little earring has gotten caught in the fibers of the rug and she can’t lift her head without pulling her ear.  So, I get on the floor to look and end up on MY stomach so I can see, thinking I can get my fingers under there to get it out.  No such luck.  So, I get my scissors and again, on my stomach (this must have been a sight), I’m very gently cutting the tiny thread holding the earring.  With much relief, she jumps up and gets in line with her friends and I get myself up off the floor very slowly.  Believe it or not, I’ve had to do this twice in my career.

But today was a new one for me.  I was monitoring the first graders using the bathroom before lunch.  Now, because it’s winter in Nebraska, the kids have all of their coats, gloves, scarves and hats with them to go out to recess right after lunch.  Some of the kids (mostly girls), drop their coats against the wall in the hall and get them when they come out of the bathroom, but a lot of the boys just wear their stuff in rather than drop it.  Now, I raised three boys and they all did some wild and crazy things, so I’m trying to imagine this because I didn’t actually see what happened next.  I’m standing in the hallway, monitoring behavior and sending kids into the bathroom when I hear a wail from the boys bathroom.  I stand outside the boys bathroom and call in, asking what’s wrong. This little boy comes out, holding his wet hat gingerly with his thumb and forefinger, tears streaming down his face as he sobs “I dropped it in the toilet!”.  Just as I get this out of him, a second boy comes out, just as upset saying something about “I didn’t mean to!!”.  So here I have two hysterical boys, about 50 other 1st graders in the process of using the bathroom or at least pretending to, some sitting in the hallway waiting to go to lunch and a dripping hat.  I grab as many paper towels as I can and wrap the hat in them, tell the boys to wash their hands really well and finally get the gist of the story.  Somehow,  (and I don’t really want to know), boy number two accidentally bumped into boy number one which caused him to drop the unfortunate hat into the toilet.

I finally take the kids to lunch, still holding the hat which I take to the nurse’s office because she always has plastic bags, where I deposit the hat and sanitize my hands.  The boy, who is now sitting at a table eating lunch, looks slightly offended when I bring him the bag, like, “why are you bringing that thing to me?” and I inform him that mom should be able to take care of it at home. Because that’s what mom’s do, right?  Nothing personal guys, but notice I didn’t say dad.  There’s a reason.  I would hate to hear another person wailing over a hat dropped in the toilet.