I had an epiphany this morning which I think will help people everywhere, although it sounds pretty silly.  You know, I did a lot of dating in high school and in college – not sure how, but I did.  Anyway, I had the opportunity to “try out” a lot of models before I chose the one that has lasted.  Not that the others weren’t great guys.  I was very lucky to always date very kind, intelligent young men, most of whom had some connection to music, that last part being more important than it probably should have been.  The one guy I dated who WASN’T in music just didn’t get what I did, and well – it ended quickly.  He’s probably some very successful retired advertising exec somewhere now.

You see, I had criteria I tried to follow, including the above mentioned musical connection.  I had a certain look in mind, a certain height (don’t laugh), a certain professional/educational component.  I was in my late teens, so please cut me a break here. And being a good kisser wasn’t such a bad thing either.  I was lucky in that department too.  Not sure how good I was, but they were great : )  But you know, all those things weren’t enough.  The thing that was the game changer was something I think most people overlook but for me it was life changing.

In the movie Sleepless in Seattle, Tom Hanks character is describing his late wife and shares that he knew she was the one when he took her hand when she stepped out of a car.  “It was like…magic”, he says.  That unexplainable knowledge that this is the ONE.  There’s probably no research to back this up, mind you, only a personal experience that mirrors the dialogue in the movie.  Meg Ryan’s mother says the same thing about her husband and in the end, Meg and Tom clasp hands, sharing a wondrous knowing look.  But is this real?

Companies like e-harmony advertise that they have comprehensive questionaires which set up this perfect compatability for couples.  Their research touts statistics of how many of their matches end in marriage.  I wonder if they keep the same kind of stats for how many of their clients end in divorce?  Probably not.  And then there are the specialty matchmakers.  The over 50 crowd, the farmer crowd, different cultures, etc.  All focusing on what they do or how old they are or what they believe.  All very important things to consider.  But there’s something magical about the chemistry of those couples who seem to have that special bond. Could it be all about how their hands connect?

It was the fall of 1978 and I was to meet this guy I had met in band at a party.  I was in the party room waiting, talking to friends when he walked in.  We looked at each other, he walked up to me and without a word, took my hand.  We had never held hands before but it was so natural, not awkward at all and I just remember feeling this inward smile.  A feeling like I was home.  Pretty sure it was our second date when I decided this guy was the one.  But here’s the real kicker.  Even today, he can take my hand and I get the same feeling, like this is where I’m supposed to be.

So, I’m not sure how to implement this in terms of others dating, but it would be fun to hear if there are others who feel the same way.  Is this the real “chemistry” that makes a relationship last?  Could something this simple be the answer people are seeking when it comes to finding Mr. or Ms. Right?  Why not try grabbing someone’s hand (someone you know : ) and see if you feel the magic!