With today being the last day of school before 2018, I’m thinking it’s time to start reflecting on 2017, where I’ve been and where I’m going.  I’m really good at making all these grandiose plans and then life hits and it’s just easier to keep doing what I’ve been doing.  I would love to say that I’ve lost all the weight I had wanted to or started taking those classes I talked about, or that I’ve joined something that will keep me more active, but I haven’t.  It’s not that this past year hasn’t been full of stuff or events, but you get to the end and look back and think, did I really do the things I wanted to do?

I’m not one for resolutions, but I always have great intentions.  This past year I decided to begin writing after I had talked about it for years and now I’ve been writing pretty steadily for the past six months.  It has shifted how I spend my time a bit as I’m not just surfing the web or staring at the TV as much.  In fact, I tend to turn everything off so that I can just concentrate on the words on the page.  I think it’s been healthier.  And speaking of health, I finally broke down and started seeing a doctor regularly.  It’s always been hard to spend time and money on myself this way, but I started and learned some things about myself.  In some ways, I’m improving things and in some ways I know I have some changes to make.  Not always pleasant, but it’s a growth process I suppose.

I’ve learned that taking time and space to be by myself is do-able and necessary and I have also learned how to verbalize this need to others.  Just another way I’ve become healthier this year.  I’ve also been doing some soul searching, making decisions on what and how I believe spiritually, politically, emotionally, intellectually, doing more reading, thinking and applying.  I sure do wish I had done more of this when I was younger.

Again, the problem with life is that we sometimes let life happen to us rather than setting our own course.  All of life’s events get put on numerous calendars (I have 4), to make make sure we don’t miss them and you can plan accordingly.  The problem is that I begin living from event to event, from meeting to meeting, from class to class and I’m watching the days fly by.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m getting older and time is more precious.  Maybe I’m just now getting my act together.  Or maybe I’m just now figuring out who I really am and what I really want out of life. I think it’s a good thing that I don’t want to just settle for what is, but again, I wish I had started younger.

The biggest surprise to happen to me this year has not been any of the numerous events that have marked my calendar, but a couple of new relationships.  I had always said that I wasn’t in any hurry to be a grandparent.  Too many things I wanted to do and I didn’t want to rush the kids.  And then I suddenly became a foster grandparent and these kids have touched my heart in a way I never would have thought.  It has completely surprised me because I never thought of myself as the grandmotherly type.  I’ll never be the “bake cookies” kind of grandma, but hopefully I’ll  be the grandma with the cool car who is always traveling and learning.

This year marked 37 years of marriage to my best friend.  The thing I love most is that he’s always surprising me and making me laugh.  He’s a huge support for me and my dreams, encourages me to take care of myself and loves me when I’m a pain the…. well, you get it.  Just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.  I need to make more effort  to have quality time with him in the coming year.  Sometimes I think I got so into my own thing this year that I didn’t concentrate enough time on him.  That  needs to change.

So, on to 2018.  The calendar is already starting to fill up with meeting dates, judging gigs, traveling and soon to come, speaking at state conferences.  But it’s those in between times, the times when I’m not preparing a presentation or reading a meeting agenda –  what will I do?  Do I take that class I’ve been looking at?  Do I join the cycling class I’ve been talking about?  Do I stop drinking the diet cokes?  (That one will be hard).  I’m thinking I should take some time during this break and map out those things that are important, those things that I really want to get done and take the steps to do them.  Working on some concrete strategies to make real change, not just making a resolution and hoping it works.

One thing is for sure.  I’ll be writing more on this blog and perhaps working on a book.  Not sure exactly what that’s going to look like yet, but in another year, we’ll see how far I got with it.  Bring on the new year!