“The eyes are the window to your soul” is a quote attributed to William Shakespeare.  And the bible.  And several others throughout history.  When was the last time you really looked into someone’s eyes?  What did you see?

My thoughts come from the oddest of places – Star Wars.  I went to see the latest installment for the second time, and while I enjoyed it as much as the first, I began to notice something.  Princess Leia’s eyes.  There were a couple of times,  within that aged face, that I saw the eyes of her youth.  Just as bright and energetic as they had been the first time I saw her in that role forty years ago.  There was also the calm wisdom of someone who had learned a lot from the hard knocks of life and who knew she didn’t have to prove herself.  I felt like I could see her through her eyes.  It was as though she talked to me through her eyes.

Eyes are definitely the giveaway to someone’s thoughts and feelings.  A great actor or actress can make you believe anything if they can bring the character they’re playing to their eyes. Someone can smile at you and say they’re fine, but if you look right into their eyes, you may see something different.  They can’t lie.  That’s why we look away when we don’t want people to know what we’re really feeling or thinking.  It’s why kids look down when they know they’re not telling the truth.  There are those who try to lie and will look straight at you while they’re doing it, but there’s something behind the eyes that will let you know something is up.  After all, these are the windows to our soul.  Good vs Evil.  Love vs Hate.  We can see these things if we just bother to look.  But are we even looking at people anymore?

Screens have taken over where we used to look at people.  Instead of looking at children to see what they need (often it’s attention), we hand them a screen.  When we need to escape and not talk to anyone, we look at a screen.  When we need to communicate, we do it through a device.  I know people who have offices right next to each other who communicate through email.  Sure, it’s nice to have the documentation there, but perhaps it should start with a face to face.  Virtual meetings where you just hear people talking miss the point of meeting.  While it may save time and money, are you really getting what people are thinking?  I always insisted on having face to face meetings because I needed to see people’s body language, faces and eyes.  It was always easier to get a clear vibe as to what they were really saying (or not saying) if I could just look at them.  And it made it easier if I could see their faces so I could tell if they wanted to say something but were either afraid or just couldn’t get past those who tended to take over the conversation.

But that’s the problem isn’t it?  It’s easier to do life if we don’t really have to see into  someone’s eyes or know what they’re thinking or feeling.  I admit that I’m just as guilty as anyone else here. If someone is grieving or going through a hard time, I can say all the right words on Facebook or Twitter but I don’t really have to get emotionally involved. It’s not that I don’t care, sometimes it’s just too overwhelming. Selfish, I know. Or, I can say whatever harsh things I want through a screen and I never have to see the eyes of the people I’m talking to or about.  Perhaps if I actually saw them, if I actually had to look them in the eye and see how the words affected them, it might make me think about what I’m saying or how I’m saying it.  When I don’t have to look someone in the eyes, I can just think about me.

I think that’s why teachers get so involved with their students.  We look into their eyes every day.  We see when they come in tired or sad or happy or angry.  Because we’re not seeing them through a screen, we become emotionally involved.  It’s one reason why teachers keep doing what they do because we can see in their eyes when we make a difference.  As a music teacher, I can see in their eyes when a piece of music touches them in some way.  I can see when it gets them excited or brings back a memory, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. All through their eyes.  And so many of these kids want to be seen. They want us to look at their eyes and read what they may not be able to say.  They don’t want to be a piece of data to be interpreted through a pie chart, they want to be looked at as a person with issues and feelings and stories and strengths.

I want you to see me through my eyes.  Not through my accomplishments or failures, not through my Facebook posts, not through my blog.  I need you to see me.  Just like you need me to see you.  Can you imagine a world where we really begin to see our shared humanity through the windows to our souls?