There are few shows in my lifetime that were “must sees”.  Oh, when I was a kid, there were Saturday morning cartoons, way before cartoon networks, and I had a crush on Peter Brady on “The Brady Bunch”.  Once into adulthood, there have only been a handful of shows that I’ve scheduled or made time to watch.  Grace and Frankie is the new show I couldn’t wait to begin its new  season.  The two characters, played by Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are 78 and 80 years young respectively, and you wouldn’t think I would feel any kinship to the characters, but I do.

I read an article today interviewing Jane Fonda about this resurgence in her career.  Now, whatever you may think of her, and I respect all opinions, I find it amazing that an 80 year old actress is breaking barriers in a business that reeks of ageism, especially when it comes to women.  And in this article, she goes through her thought process as she has aged, different milestones and how she perceives the way she has changed over the years.  And I could relate.  At nearly 50, she decided that she had lost her creativity and she could no longer act and for nearly 16 years, stayed out of the business.  However, in her sixties, she started figuring out who she was and where she wanted to go and now at 80, she’s starring in her new show, feeling better than ever and looking forward to learning and doing new things.

I can relate because aging is certainly a process.  My childhood is mostly a blur and my teenage years were full of band, school, friends and boyfriends.  In my twenties, still feeling (and looking very young), I was once mistaken for one of my husband’s students.  Not a bad thing.  In my late twenties and thirties I was married, working and raising three kids.  There was no time to be concerned about age.  Well, except when I went back to school and became pregnant with my third child before I graduated.  I was quite the oddity in my music classes.

Then I hit 40 and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  This was it.  I was officially old.  I started looking at what I was wearing and what I WANTED to wear and it just wasn’t happening with this mom body.  I would never be young again, never have as much energy, never be less wrinkled.  It was depressing.  I was seeing what my mom looked like to me when I was in high school in the mirror.  But, a funny thing happens as you get older.  People begin to take you seriously.

Mid to late 40’s got better and better.  I began to figure out who I was, what I thought I wanted in terms of my career, became more involved in organizations.  I was needed to supervise student teachers.  My age and experience were now proof of my worth apparently, and it felt good.  People began assuming that I knew more than I did and I was willing to give things a try because of it.  Then I hit the big 50.  And you know what?  So far, the 50’s have been great.

You know how people talk about old people and how they’re not afraid to say things?  Well, turns out, that’s pretty true.  Of course, I still try to temper what I say with kindness and respect, but I’ve learned to be honest with people about what I think and feel.  I think I’ve earned that now and I feel a confidence I’ve never felt in my life.  And being wrong is not such a bad thing.  I used to beat myself up for years when I felt like I messed something up.  Now, not so much.  Now, this is a fairly recent development and boy is it great.  I’ve figured out that even I am still learning.

Later this year I will begin my last year in my 50’s and will be looking at the Big 6-0.  Sometimes when I think about it, I cringe a little.  It’s a big number.  Even if I live to 90 I’ll have lived 2/3 of my life.  It’s a little weird.  But I’m also looking forward to it, because if the years to come are anything like the last several years, I can look forward to grand adventures, doing things I’ve always wanted to do, doing things I love to do and doing them with people I love.  I’m still making plans for the future of things I want to accomplish, maybe work on a degree, maybe think of another career.  I have ideas and want the opportunity to try them, to help people, to make things better in education.  I could get a lot done in another 20-30 years.

My dad always told me that my busiest, most productive part of my life would be in my 40’s, and while I was in my 40’s, busy with marriage, kids and career, I was in total agreement.  But now that I look back, I think I was more distracted by those things than I was productive.  NOW, I feel productive.  Now I feel like I have a voice and can share my experiences with others.  And to all my women friends out there, if my experience is worth anything, I’m here to tell you IT GETS BETTER.  I’m sure there will be roadblocks and life changes along the way, but I’m still alive and like a great wine, working to become aged to perfection.