The flowers arrived at school today and decorated the front office, bringing smiles to the recipients around the building.  I suppose if you only receive flowers one day a year, it would be very special to receive them today.  I did not receive any today, but I received some about a week ago, just because.  My favorites tulips, bought just to brighten up a snowy day.  Because at our house, we’re working to make every day Valentine’s Day.

I have to admit that Doug is much better about this than I am, but we both try to do little things for each other.  It’s Valentine’s evening and we’re sitting on the couch watching Kentucky basketball.  Not what most couples would want to do tonight, but this is important to Doug, so that’s what we’re doing.  You see, he surprised me with tickets to the ballet for this weekend so we’ll have a date night then.  When you have a loving relationship with someone, whether it’s with a spouse or a friend, you shouldn’t have to wait for a particular day to celebrate it.

It doesn’t take much and it’s not a matter of trying to outdo each other.  It’s sending a loving or supportive text in the middle of the day.  It’s planning an evening of takeout pizza and a movie on the couch together.  It’s putting a kind note in a fellow teacher’s box or bringing donuts to share with your team at school.  It doesn’t have to be fancy, it just needs to be what you do; thinking of others and how you can make their day a little sweeter.

I think we make a mistake in limiting a Valentine to a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend.  A Valentine is anyone you care about.  I’m afraid a lot of my single friends hate Valentine’s Day because of how it’s marketed.  These are people that I know are loved and cared for by others but may feel really left out on this one day.  I need to do a better job of making sure I touch base with those friends to share how I feel about them.

For us, today was our 39th Valentine’s Day together.  We didn’t buy each other cards or gifts, no dressing up, no fancy dinner out.  We threw on some jeans and comfy shoes, hopped in the bug and drove to our favorite Chinese place.  A lot of people came in for takeout but we were the only two eating in.  We spent time talking about our day, sharing funny things with each other and enjoying our food.  At the end, we took pictures of each other at the same time, just for fun.  Yes, this is my husband, but he is my best friend, the one I have lived life with for close to two thirds of my life.  We’ve gotten to that point in our lives where spending time and paying attention to each other is more important than things.  They’re nice, thoughtful, but not necessary.

In our busy lives, we’ve made it a point to schedule time together, putting dates on the calendar just like meetings, rehearsals and basketball games.  I believe the first sign of death in a relationship is when you begin to take each other for granted, to become complacent and just assume everything is fine.  It’s the same in a friendship, assuming things will remain the same, despite not being totally invested in the relationship.

I’m not saying we should get rid of Valentine’s Day. It’s fun and my kids at school would have a hissy fit if there were no more Valentine’s parties!  But why not make every day Valentine’s Day, making sure that the important people in our lives know what they mean to us year around.  Happy Valentine’s Day my friends!