Yesterday as I clicked on the final link, I realized that this was going to be the last one.  When we moved to Nebraska almost 18 years ago, I laughed when I received my first one because I thought, what a waste!  We’re only going to be here a couple of years.  Boy, was I wrong!  It was a lot like getting my Nebraska driver’s license.  I was just going to have to get another one somewhere else soon.  But here it is, 18 years and I’ve applied for my last teaching certificate.

I’ve been avoiding the “R” word for some time now.  I received my first AARP notification at age 49 and I’ve ignored them now for almost 10 years.  Retired and AARP sound old and I just don’t feel old –  most days – so I’ve stubbornly refused to give in.  However, the last several years have been a bit of a struggle as I find myself at odds with current educational practices.  I struggle with whether or not I’m old school or if some of these practices are just wrong.  I struggle with the idea of less and less control in my classroom and more and more questionable job descriptions being added to my resume.  I’ve joked about technology for years and my computer teacher friends would suggest I just need to stay away.  But now I question the amount of screen time children spend, especially in light of some new research, I worry that there is less recess, more testing, scripted lessons, and well, the  list goes on and on.

I have friends who have retired; some were excited, some felt it was just their time but continued to sub, some looking forward to the free time, some dreading it, some already finding ways to fill it.  I think I’m looking at it as a new opportunity for a new direction.  Maybe another degree, maybe another career.  Maybe writing full time.  There are so many possibilities.  The last five years have gone so fast and I know the next five will go even faster.  I’m starting to feel a little pressure to make plans.

The passing of the torch will be a good thing.  There are so many young, passionate teachers who will do a great job passing on their love of music to our young people.  My fear is that they have no point of reference in terms of how education used to be.  I’m not saying everything was great, but I remember a day when teachers were more respected, when they were allowed to make decisions as to what needed to be taught when based on their students’ needs, and allowed to dole out consequences that matched their students’ inappropriate behaviors if need be.  I know the pendulum tends to swing both ways and I’m hoping we’ll eventually stop throwing the baby out with the bath water and return to  some of the things that just made common sense, those things that teachers just know inherently, but right now, things are, well, just a little scary.

In the meantime, I’m starting to get excited about the possibilities.  Last year, a young teacher asked me why I decided to change schools to open up a new school after I had been teaching so long and my simple answer was that I needed a change.  I needed something to make me a little uncomfortable and challenge me. The minute we stop learning and changing is the minute we begin getting old.  Getting older is inevitable, but getting old is definitely an option and I choose not to get old just yet.  So, we’ll see about AARP, but for now, I have applied for my last teaching certificate.