Bed Fairies are the best.  You know, the fairies who show up sometime after you’ve left your hotel room and they make all the mess go away.  I love walking into the room after a long day of of intellectually stimulating meetings, where everything is neat and clean and all I have to do it think about sitting for a few minutes and relaxing.  No shoes or dirty socks on the floor,  no unmade bed, no dirty towels in the bathroom.  It is a wonderful thing and something I appreciate greatly.

As I’m sitting on the plane, excited to get home, I realize I’m also going home to reality.  For a few days I have a lot of very kind people who carry my luggage and load it into cabs or Ubers, who bring me food, pour water and wine as I need or want it, take my dirty dishes away and call me “ma’am”.  When I get home, I have to throw some clothes in the washer and get things organized for the next day of school. My son, totally engaged in watching a basketball game finally takes the time to say “Oh hi mom.  Welcome home” with a little pat on the shoulder as he walks to the kitchen for more food.

And the bed fairies?  Well, the bed was made when I got home, the kitchen had been cleaned and things picked up.  However, the shoes I had left in the living room before I went out of town four days ago were still under the coffee table and there was no bread at home to make lunch today.  Reality.

I think it takes a lot of reality to make you appreciate life.  It’s a lot like having a variety of low wage jobs.  Working fast food has given me a real appreciation for anyone who who has to work behind the counter.  From burning yourself with grease to dealing with irate impatient customers to mopping with smelly solutions, cleaning bathrooms and taking out the trash, I know this is a tough job.  I greatly appreciate the fact that I work in a nice building with great co-workers and my “customers” now are usually much more fun.

It takes having only five dollars to buy as much food as you can when you’re in college to appreciate being able to buy a nice meal in a fine restaurant.  It takes living in roach infested married student housing to appreciate a beautiful home or hotel room.  It takes having an old car on its last legs to appreciate the ability to buy something reliable and, if you’re lucky, something fun to drive.  It takes having to drive for HOURS to visit family to appreciate the ability to buy a plane ticket to fly instead.

I have worked with children who have not had even the most simple of experiences who have reacted joyfully to something new and different.  And I have worked with children who are quickly bored or unimpressed with everything because well, they have everything they ask for.  When you have a five year old share that they just got back from Cancun for vacation like it’s an every day occurrence you worry that they will grow up taking things for granted.   Suffering little trials and tribulations, failing and not getting everything they want helps them appreciate things and people so much later/

But let’s take this up a notch.  How will we ever appreciate what other people go through if we don’t attempt to experience what they experience?  If we don’t take the time to walk in their shoes to understand where they come from and why they think or behave the way they do?  If we don’t experience hardships, how can we understand and help others who are going through those same experiences?  We tend to question why we have to go through certain experiences, but sometimes it is so we can appreciate life when things go well.  Would I have appreciated the great relationship I have with my family now if I hadn’t had a dysfunctional relationship with family growing up?  Maybe not. Going through difficult times helps us to not only appreciate the good times but gives us compassion for those who go through those same experiences.

So now, as I sit on my comfy leather sectional that hasn’t suffered damage from three active boys, with my best friend on a quiet evening watching TV, I’m once again appreciative.  Appreciative for great relationships, passage through trials, a comfortable life and of course, bed fairies.  Always bed fairies.