Life is a funny thing.  One day you think you’re on one trajectory and the next – BOOM!  Things can change overnight.  Highs and lows, joy and sorrow, daily reminders of how all the details in our lives can go in any direction at any time.  God closing doors and opening windows.  How do you choose to go through the right windows when the time comes?  Are you going blindly or on blind faith?  Little knowing if that one decision is the one that either turns your life around or throws you to the depths.

I was speaking to a friend of mine at lunch duty today, and she said that social media tends to be the “highlight film” of our lives.  Most people put all of the wonderful family gatherings, the exciting trips, the happy additions and changes in their lives on social media, always posed to look their very best, of course.  And it’s fun to live vicariously through them for a while.  Or be jealous,  Anyway, very seldom does someone get real and say,  I’m struggling and I need help.  Not in a complaining way but in a way that tells others, I’m human like you and I can’t do this on my own.  Most of us don’t want to do that.  We feel like others will think we’re just trying to get attention and that’s uncomfortable.  And maybe we are.  That tells us something real as well.

I needed help yesterday and I hesitated slightly before putting it out there for the world to see.  What I received in return were promises of prayers, offers of help, offers to get together, texts and friends stopping me this morning to ask how I was.  I had friends who also kept it real by sharing similar struggles and how they not just sympathize but empathize. That’s what could and should be the power of social media.  It’s humanity in the midst of what seems like constant inhumanity.  When we’re real and honest with each other, you find out who those people are who really care, and I mean REALLY care.  It’s humbling and yet eye opening when you realize that these people you see or read about every day  who always seem to have it together, maybe in reality, don’t.

How many times during the day do you ask someone how they’re doing?  They say “good” and then they ask “how are you?” and you also respond with “good”.  Happens all the time.  Some of it is just time management, sometimes how I am is nobody’s business, sometimes it’s really just “good” and sometimes I’m afraid of judgement if I share the truth.  Not everyone is empathetic to each person’s efforts at keeping it real.  I mean, how do you tell someone, for instance, that someone said something to you that made you flashback to a moment with an abusive parent?  How do you say to them that you’re having financial difficulties or marital problems or issues with your children that you don’t know how to deal with?  It’s just easier to say “good” and hold  it all in when the “how are you doing” opens up a Pandora’s box of issues too heavy for someone to handle in a casual greeting.

That’s one of the reasons why when I see a child who is struggling or having a bad day and I ask how they are, if they say “ok”, I ask again and add, “are you sure?”.  Just those three words can be enough to let them know that I’m ready to listen to whatever it is.  Sometimes it’s something small like they miss mom while they’re at school and they need a hug.  Sometimes it’s something much bigger and then we can get more help.  It’s important that adults are there to allow them to keep it real when they need to.  Of course, you take the chance of having them tell you all about their loose tooth or their hangnail, but those things are important too.  After all, those are the things we can empathize with.

At lunch today, some of my 4th grade girls were talking about a film they have to watch.  You know – “the film“.  Anyway, they were talking about how embarrassing it was and how they had to read a book with their mom and now it was even more embarrassing with their teacher.  So I took a minute with them, as a mother and as a woman to assure them that while they might be uncomfortable now, we were all a family of women who have been strong enough to survive this time of life and as time went on, they would be okay too and we were all in this together.  They seemed a tiny bit reassured as they smiled at me.  Maybe they were just humoring the old lady, but for a 4th grade girl, it doesn’t get more real than that.

So for my friends and family who came to my rescue yesterday when I needed it, I am grateful for you allowing me to keep it real.  Everything is better today and I was able to sit down and think more clearly about details and next steps.  I’m choosing to step out on faith and if a door closes, a window will open somewhere else.  Life is full of adventurous details and you just never know what will happen next.  But I do know where I can go if I need help during the journey.