Intuition. Discernment.  Going with your gut.  Some say it isn’t logical and they would be the ones to make the pros and cons lists.  I’ve tried that and I just get distracted.  A pro or con might lead me to thinking about an entirely different subject and that just gets confusing.  As new age as it may sound,  I just need to get down deep and see how I feel about something, whether it’s a piece of clothing I want to buy, a job decision or a move I want to make.  While it may seem illogical, if I follow my gut, it tends to go well.

Moving to Nebraska was a total gut decision for both of us.  Thank goodness my husband thinks with his gut as well, all jokes aside.  Sorry Doug – I have no room to talk.  Anyway, he was offered two graduate teaching assistantships when he decided to go back to school.  One was a reasonable driving distance away from where we were, we wouldn’t have to uproot the kids, family was still close and I could find any number of jobs in the area.  The second offer was in Nebraska, 800 miles away from all of our friends, family, schools, and jobs.  It was an interesting idea, but it certainly made no sense at that point in our lives.  We visited both schools, came out of one visit saying, no, it just doesn’t feel right and the other saying, yep, this feels right.  So here we are, 18 years later in a totally illogical place.  However, in hindsight the response to move here based on that gut reaction proved to be one of the best things we could have done for many reasons.  I wonder how many people stay stuck where they are because they try to be safe and “logical”?

Oh, I’ve tried to do the safe, responsible, logical thing and at the very least it was a mistake and at the very most, a complete disaster.  Early in our move to Nebraska, when we were struggling a bit financially, I needed to go from a part time to a full time teaching job, even though I really liked the part time job I was doing.  It made more sense to make more money to take care of our family.  So I interviewed for a choral job at a private school and left feeling a little uneasy.  When the phone call came that I had gotten the job, I was relieved but still feeling uneasy, and didn’t know why.  As the year progressed and I found myself ridiculed for my chosen church denomination and conversion experience, among other things, I realized that the gut reaction had been correct.  No money was worth the harassment I received from both the staff and students.  I left after a year with no job prospect.  It was a scary time, and another illogical thing to do.  Until I was recommended for a job soon after that I eventually took and stayed at for 12 years.  Sometimes doing something illogical, like quitting a job before you have another one can lead to something even better.

I’m sure most people would say that this is a totally impractical, irresponsible way to live your life.  Others might say it’s an example of how to live by faith.  And just how bad could it be?  If I fail at one thing, I just try something else, right?  I heard a quote from Jennifer Lopez today that got me thinking.  I’m not some huge fan or anything, but some show was listing off all of her accomplishments and when asked about it, she said, when something comes up, she just tries it.  If it works – great.  If it doesn’t work, do something else.  It’s very simple.  No fear, just go for it.  I wish I had figured that out earlier in my life.

Two years ago, I made what might have been seen as an illogical move.  I left a school full of friends I had worked with for years for the experience of opening up a new school.  At my age, I think it was perceived as being unusual because I actually had people ask me why I decided to make this change now.  My answer was that I was doing something different, making me get out of a rut or safe place, and making me learn something new.  And it has.  I’ve learned new skills, met great people and saved tons of money in gas.  Did I make the right decision?  The years will tell, but I went with my gut.  It will be interesting to see where this illogical path will take me in the future.  After all, you only live once.