I have a friend, now retired, who always knew exactly how many days there were left of school and how many Mondays were left.  Whenever someone was having a difficult day, they might go to her and ask “how many more days?” and my friend would tell them and everyone would laugh and/or say “we can do this!”.  It was encouragement and understanding among those of us who love what we do, but some days are almost more than we can deal with.  And so yes, I know exactly how many days I have left and the number of “events” I have to deal with before the end of school.

Those of you not in teaching might be saying, well, lucky you, at least you have the summer to look forward to, and yes, to some extent you’re absolutely right and we absolutely need it.  In the next couple of weeks I have rehearsals, a play and a concert to do, which in essence is a assessment of what my kids have learned and are able to do in front of parents, other teachers, my administration and the public.  They will look at what my kids are doing and judge me based on what they see.  In my first few years of teaching this was excruciating as the judgement really bothered me and people were quick to say something.  In hindsight, most of it was trying to be helpful but I looked at it as criticism and would make it all about me.  Nowadays, I know what I’m looking for and if you like it, great, and it not, I already know what we did well and what we didn’t do well and we can live with it.

As a teacher, and especially a teacher in the arts, I am intellectually, emotionally and artistically invested in what I do, how I do it and who I do it with.  It is exhausting.  Some days it’s a true love/hate relationship where I wonder if being a greeter at Walmart might be a better place to be and others days I feel a joy I can’t explain.  By the end of the year, this year long roller coaster ride has taken its toll and I’m ready for solitude, a different routine and time to replenish for the next ride.  I get to a place where I don’t want to hear any music because throughout the year I literally wake up and go to sleep audiating the music I deal with every day.  Oh sure, things rotate in and out depending on what I’m working on, but it gets old waking up to a combination of Charles Ives, a song from our current musical, the chorus from a choir song and Five Green and Speckled Frogs taking turns in your brain.  I much prefer to wake up to the sound of windchimes and birds in the summer.  My brain needs a break.

Not that the brain won’t get interrupted this summer.  I know I have professional development I am required to do in music and in student supports and I will go to Washington to learn more of what is going on at a national level in music education and how we can make those on the Hill more aware of the importance of music education in the lives of children.  I will also teach a professional leadership workshop for young teachers and prepare several sessions for this coming fall and next spring that I will be teaching as well.  This is not unusual.  Most teachers I know rarely are able to just do nothing during their summers.  Just because the kids aren’t there, doesn’t mean the job ends.

So yes, I am counting the days.  23 days to be exact and one of those is a field day.  I know I have to cross off two play rehearsals, two play performances, another choir dress rehearsal, two choir performances and a final graduation performance. All this while finishing up assessments for the last quarter and making sure I’ve covered all of the essential learning outcomes for the year satisfactorily.  And then I will rest.  Just enough rest so that I’m ready to take on the next year and do it better than before for the next 191 days.