Tis another busy season for music educators everywhere as we all prepare final concerts and plays to be performed for judges, parents, students, fellow teachers and administrators.  For the last several years, my husband and I have had performances to do on the same nights so unfortunately we don’t always get to see what the other is doing.  For many years, before I finished my degree, I would attend his high school concerts and take however many number of boys we had at the time.  When I began doing my own concerts and plays, especially the plays, I would actually put him to work, usually backstage or in the pit. And the assumption was that we would attend each others events unless there was a conflict.  Then one night he asked, do you mind if I don’t go?  It’s just a little elementary concert.  As you can imagine, my reaction was not the best and needless to say he’s done his best to suffer through many elementary programs since then.  However, there is always one thing we never fail to do with each other after every event and that is pie.

Years ago, I’m pretty sure it was ice cream, but somewhere along the line it turned to pie.  Maybe when we moved here and there were Village Inns on every corner with Award Winning Pie advertised right on the windows.  So tomorrow, he will do his campus band concert at the university and I will do my 3rd grade play at school and we will meet afterwards to celebrate with pie.  And then next week, when I have my choir concert, we will celebrate again.  With pie.

So our dilemma tonight?  Wednesdays are free pie night.  Knowing full well we’re going to go back tomorrow to do our traditional pie celebration we gave in to temptation.  What is it about pie anyway?  Well, the filling is obviously important, but for me, the crust is my favorite.  It worked out really well for my brother and me growing up because he liked the filling best and I liked the crust, so we would share a piece.  I’ve grown up some since then which is a good because I’m pretty sure my husband wouldn’t be as accommodating and yes, I will eat the filling now.  However, each bite must have some crust in it.  Ok, maybe that didn’t sound so appetizing….

But back to pie.  We always say “as American as apple pie” but I’m not sure it’s really American.  I’m pretty sure that in my German DNA there’s a requirement to love all things pastry, like strudel for instance.  I obviously can’t help it.  But having pie together is more than just eating.  It’s a time to unwind after something stressful that we both understand intimately.  I can sit and spend time talking with someone who can empathize with me and talk me down if I’m taking a mistake too seriously and vice versa.  Like all music educators/facilitators, there’s a bit of personal risk that’s taken every time we put our students on a stage.  You see, THEY won’t necessarily be judged on any mistakes that are made, but as the teachers, we will.  The audience will judge our  work based on things like its entertainment value, on the intonation of our group (whether they really understand what intonation is),  or maybe on how well the group behaves (for little people anyway).  They’re seeing a one time snapshot without seeing all of the months of work that went into it.  They’re not standing or sitting on that stage feeling the butterflies and hoping they or the students don’t forget something major or make an obvious mistake.  And sometimes, a conversation over pie helps.

So maybe tonight was preemptive strike, a little deescalation before the concert.  Or maybe it was free pie night and it’s a few days before pay day and we wanted a cheap date.  Who knows? Regardless, we’ll be back tomorrow, celebrating yet another concert and play, maybe with a different kind of pie this time.