Had quite the active day with the soon to be grandson today.  Breakfast, a wildlife safari with some hiking, lunch and swimming rounded out our time with him.  We had the opportunity to get to know him better as he shared some of his story with us and something we had never heard before – the power of “YET”.

During some of his group therapy, he learned this phrase as a way to help when he felt he couldn’t do something.  Instead of just saying “I can’t” he has learned to say “I can’t YET”.  This is a child who seems to try just about anything, who has been through more than any person should, and I honestly can’t remember hearing him say “I can’t” about anything.  He’s always willing to learn new things and is enthusiastic about trying.  I’m wondering  just how I could use this new word next year with my kids at school.

Yet insinuates that whatever it is will happen eventually.  It allows whoever says it to give themselves whatever time they need for it to happen.  This is so important for kids as everyone learns at their own pace, and I’m thinking that a lot of stress and feelings of not being smart enough can be alleviated if not eliminated by that one little three letter word.  It will happen,  it’s just a matter of time.

However, I’m also thinking this isn’t just for kids.  Imagine our lives as adults and the power of “yet”.  Not giving up on a dream because maybe it isn’t the right time – yet.  Not giving up on going back to school, not giving up on a new career, not giving up on that big move or that adventure you’ve always wanted to take because it’s not time – yet.

But with the power of yet also comes a warning.  Yet can be pushed further and further into the future until there is no more future.  I don’t want to be like my father who towards the end of his life asked me things like “when we lived in Colorado, why didn’t you tell me we should go skiing?  Now I’ll never go skiing”.  Like it was somehow my fault he allowed the “yet” to get away from him.  And maybe that’s what people do.  They keep telling themselves things like “I can’t go back to school – yet” and then blame everyone, including themselves when they don’t take the steps needed to achieve the dream eventually.

When is the turning point for a person when “I can’t do that – yet” turns into “I can’t do that – ever”?  Why is it that people just give up?  Too many failed attempts?  Too many other important things that just got in the way?  Maybe they feel they’ve gotten too old or may look silly for wanting to chase the dream?  This is why there needs to be a time when the crutch or strategy of “yet” is taken away and it turns to “I can and I will”.  While I believe that “I can’t – yet” works well to help children while they are learning how to do things and learning to accept themselves, once they become adults, the “yet” must be tied to strategic goals so that it eventually happens.  Not a bad thing to teach kids along the way so that as adults they don’t have to look back at their lives and blame themselves or others for not having achieved their dreams.

My dream is to write a book.  It hasn’t happened – yet.  But I believe that I can do this, leaning on others, asking for help and advice, working hard and keeping my eye on the prize.  And again, while it hasn’t happened yet – it will.