I am a lover of great stories, good or bad, happy or sad, if it’s full of twists and turns and great character development, I’m there.  That’s why nothing intrigues me more than shows like Who Do You Think You Are? or Finding Your Roots because there’s nothing like finding out some interesting twist or skeleton in your family tree that throws you for a loop.  Since getting back on Ancestry.com lately, I’m finding some interesting stories myself, pulling me in to learn more in a way that explains why my family was the way it was.

You always have dreams of your family being related to royalty or at least someone famous, but my family seems to have had enough drama to create their own TV mini-series.  I won’t go into any details here, but let’s just say some of the information has me questioning things I was told by family or information that was completely covered up.  It makes for interesting reading in a medium that is already a time suck anyway.

I’m always surprised when I watch people on these shows who cry when they find out something sad about their ancestors or who celebrate when they find out something exciting or brave that their ancestors did.  Why is it so important to know and understand the people in our past?  These ancestors helped shape who we are and we all have longing to be connected.  Well, knowing what I’ve discovered so far, it goes a long way in explaining why my parents were the way they were and it’s a shame to find some of this after they’re gone.  But maybe during this process I can discover more of who I am and why.

My parents were pretty closed people – not wanting to air their dirty laundry, so to speak.  So I didn’t  find out my dad had been married before until he asked me to look up information on his former wife on the internet because he didn’t know how to do it.  That was really interesting but at the same time, I was thinking, I’m almost 40, why am I just now hearing about this?  Shouldn’t families tell each other things or am I expecting too much of my parents, who were faulty human beings, just like the rest of us?  Were they too ashamed to share with their children that they were flawed, made mistakes or had challenging life experiences? Shame can drive people to completely close up, when in reality, we can learn so much from these experiences.

For those of you who grew up in wonderful, open, nurturing families, this whole thing may seem foreign to you, but for those of use whose upbringing was, let’s say, more volatile, this is total enlightening.  Having years of feeling shame for any number of things and then finding out that your parents and grandparents, etc. struggled with the same kinds of things is liberating in a strange sort of way.  Seeing the circumstances they grew up in and with whom can explain so much about them and in turn, me.

So yes, today I spent some time opening closet doors and looking for skeletons, attempting to put myself in their shoes for a while and then closing those doors to appreciate where I am with my own family, despite the skeletons.