I am so distracted tonight, having sat here for a while trying to come up with something to write that I feel strongly about.  The reason I’m distracted is because tomorrow brings some permanent change to our family in the form of a freckled, red headed elementary aged boy.  A boy who will legally become my first grandchild.  I am 15 years older than my mother was when she became a grandmother and I was beginning to think I was never going to be one.  Honestly I wasn’t sure I wanted to be one.

And then I met this child.  The child whose likes and dislikes are just like my sons.  The child who looks somewhat like my son when he was that age.  The child who during one of the first times we met him, laid his head on my son’s shoulder as though they had  been together always.  It was strange, having this child all of a sudden join our family, ours and yet not ours as nearly a year passed in the process of fostering and adopting.

It was a year in which we not only got to know him, but we learned just how strong our son and daughter in law are.  There were hard times and disappointments, times they questioned themselves and their strengths as potential parents.  They didn’t get the chance to grow into their behavior management skills, they had to jump in with both feet, sometimes too harsh, sometimes too lenient but always trying their best for this child.

I’ve watched him grow in the last year, from a tired, underfed, wary child to a boy who loves hugs and tells everyone that he loves them.  He’s smart and energetic and loves to talk and be heard.  He calls me his “proud grandma” and he’s right.  I have so much admiration for a child who has gone through the things he has gone through, things no human should go through, much less a child, and yet he talks about how he plans to be successful, just like other foster kids he’s read about.

He’s excited to start at a new school this year and I’m excited and nervous for him.  I know how the school system can be, judging children by the way they used to be and not how they CAN be.  This kid has so much potential but still carries some heavy baggage.  I’m hoping he ends up with a teacher who sees past the lack of control he has sometimes and sees the potential we know he has.

Unconditional love and support really can change a person’s life.  This is not some kind of artificial self esteem boost, it’s letting someone know that as a family, we will always be there for him, that we will help him stay accountable when he needs to be, lift him up when he needs it and praise him when he earns it.  We’ll cheer him on at sporting events and attend his band concerts – he’s already said he wants to play saxophone.  This child  was a complete stranger a year ago and tomorrow he will change our lives for the better.

So I’m a little distracted tonight.  I want tomorrow to be a wonderful day for this new little family, a day when my grandson can see a brighter future for himself and maybe leave his past behind.