According to a graduate teaching assistant I had the misfortune of writing for in 1979, I was not a writer.  I read and studied the books we were supposed to read and completed my writing assignments on time.  This guy gave me a “D” in the class.  I was devastated.  I had done well in my English classes in high school and thought I wrote pretty well and now this guy was telling me I was wrong.  Maybe my thoughts weren’t deep enough or well thought out enough, but this one person was enough to make me believe I couldn’t write.

It wasn’t until many years later, while working to get back into school full time, that I took a writing class in a little community college in Kentucky.  The teacher was critical and yet encouraging and she told me she liked my writing.  I was a little older by then and maybe I saw things from a different perspective which may have improved my writing some, but it was her encouragement that helped me believe that maybe I could be a writer.

Skip ahead several decades and now I have been writing my blog for a little over a year.  It is part of what I do now on an almost daily basis.  I recently had a friend tell me, as we were talking the “R” word (retirement), that I would have my writing when I retired.  Sure, having a blog is great and I love it, but how do I know if just writing makes me a WRITER?  I ask this because as a musician, all people who play music aren’t necessarily MUSICIANS.  I use the upper case here because for me a MUSICIAN or ARTIST or WRITER is someone who has a gift in this art form.  Oh sure, I could be a musician and play guitar at the local coffee shop on weekends, but is it music that touches people or changes lives?  Is your art something therapeutic or does it cause people to reflect on their lives or see beauty they didn’t see before?  Does the writing cause people to think differently, or does it touch something inside them that helps them realize they are not alone in their thoughts, ideas or struggles?

I always wanted to be a MUSICIAN but I believe I am more of an EDUCATOR than a musician.  Oh sure, I have a pretty good voice and I understand the basics of theory and history, but to completely lose myself in the music has only happened on rare occasions.  I am too concerned about how I look or sound to let the MUSIC take over.  On the other hand, I love to study why students or student teachers struggle with learning and what it takes to get them through that struggle.  How do I get them to understand something?  What gets them excited about learning?

It is easy to see the gifts in others because there is just something about what they do that touches you or causes you to see the extraordinary in something ordinary.  I have several friends who can do that with photography.  Just the right angle or lighting and suddenly the beauty leaps out of the commonplace.  Just like two people singing the same song.  One can be technically correct and very pretty and the next may not be perfect but the emotion conveyed through that same song can sweep you away.  Which one is the musician and which the MUSICIAN?  As a trained musician myself, it makes me wonder then if music was the right area for me to have studied.  Never in my life have I studied or practiced music for an hour every day like I write every day.

So I suppose that the only way to see if I’m really a WRITER is to keep writing and continue working on that book to see how it is received.  Writing things for your friends to read is one thing, but writing something for the world to see is something very scary.  For my friends who find great satisfaction in their art form, whether it be photography, visual art, dance, music, or writing, listen to your heart and your friends.  Any unsolicited comment that speaks of the beauty in your art form or how it has touched them should tell you that this is a gift you have that can make the world a better place.  Although I may be considered a music educator careerwise, in my soul I feel like a WRITER.  Now I just have to allow myself to share it with the world.