A co-worker stopped me in the hallway the other morning saying she had a bone to pick with me.  Now, this is a kind, sweet woman who, as far as I know has never raised her voice at anyone and I was trying to figure out what I had done.  She said that one of the students hits her every morning when they get off the bus and it was my fault!  When I asked her why, she said he looks at her and says “slug bug” and hits her.  Even if she can’t see it, he tells her, “it’s parked right over there” and hits her anyway. My car is inciting violence at school!

It’s such an innocent looking, cheerful car – even the inside dash is yellow.  How could it possibly make anyone hit someone else?  I’ve had cashiers at drive-thru windows tell me they love my bug, that it must make me happy to be surrounded by all that yellow and it does.  I’ve had kids wave and smile at me in the bug and even had a car sitting next to me roll down their window to tell me how much they loved the bug. However, more than once, I too have witnessed the violence this cute little car can cause.

It happens in parking lots all the time.  Many times, I’m innocently pulling into a parking spot and I’ll see someone hit a person they’re with yelling “slug bug”!  I have no control over the power this car has.  I actually saw an entire family hit each other several times at a restaurant when they saw my car through the window parked outside.  What is a poor bug owner to do?

Perhaps if I give more friends rides in the bug, they’ll see it for the happiness it can bring instead of the “slug bug” reputation it has.  Feeling the wind it their hair and the sun shining on their faces with the top down is the best therapy anyone could ask for.  Perhaps it would take their minds off of the car’s darker side.

Do you suppose the bug knows the consternation it causes?  Just like a pretty girl with a mean streak, does it trick people into thinking it’s one thing and then, BAM!  All of a sudden people are hitting each other?  Does it have that same warped sense of humor that I have, where you secretly laugh inside each time that cute little car causes you to hit one another?  Gotta admit, it’s an interesting game of manipulation, especially for an inanimate object.

I suppose I could give it up, for the sake of humanity, but – Nah – not so much. Hit away my friends, hit away.