Two stories caught my attention this morning.  The first was a blog by a middle school teacher concerning “lawnmower parents”.  A new term for me so I was intrigued.  The second story concerned a 5 year old boy who walked home by himself on the first day of school.  Seemingly different at face value, however, both lead towards the same powerful message.

Story number one.  A middle school teacher happens to walk up to the office during her plan time where there is a dad bringing something to his daughter.  The teacher is thinking, ok, maybe she forgot her lunch or glasses or something.  Dad produces a water bottle.  You know, one of those fancy bottle that keep the water cold all day.  He looks a little sheepish as he hands over the bottle.  Apparently the daughter texted dad and said she had forgotten her bottle.  Dad asks, don’t they have water fountains at school?  Daughter answers, I just can’t drink water unless it’s in my water bottle.  So dad, in his suit, decides to give in to the daughter saying “teenagers – what you do?”.

So I learned that a lawnmower parent is one who will mow down anything that is an impediment or hardship for their child.  In this case, dad didn’t want the daughter to do without her water bottle.  I completely understand not wanting your children to have hard times.  No parent wants to watch their child suffer or do without, but life happens. How we teach our kids to deal with those times is what is important.  Something tells me this guy will never be an empty nester.

The second story is tricky so bear with me here.  It was the first day of school for this little guy and after school he was supposed to go to after school care at the school.  At the end of school, he went to the bathroom and when he came out, his class was gone and he didn’t know where to go.  Somehow he had been missed in the chaos that is the first dismissal of the school year. Later that day, his mom gets a phone call from the child, telling her that he was home.  Long story short, the child saw his class was gone so he decided to go home.  Because he couldn’t read, his mom asked him how he knew to walk the 2.5 miles.  He said he looked for familiar landmarks and got home by himself, calling mom when he got there.

Now, yes, this is a story about a major error in terms of adults keeping track of this little boy, but there is a bigger story here.  This 5 year old, when faced with the unknown, was able to figure out how to get home on his own.  He thought logically and went to the place he knew was safe.  His parents of course were angry and concerned, but underneath I bet they’re proud of their little guy.

In our society, particularly for those who have the means, parents want to do all but bubble wrap their children, take all the decision making away from them, not allowing them to fail and figure out how to help themselves.  It’s a scary thing.  Nothing is ever their fault and they always want someone to “fix it” for them.  Well, parents might be able to swing that when their kids are children, but what about college?  Their first job?  Their first serious relationship?  I have children who don’t know what to do when they break a pencil and they want me to tell them what to do.  It’s ridiculous.

Think about how easy it would be to manipulate an entire generation of young people who are used to someone else taking away all their troubles.  A generation of young people not able to think for themselves, having to depend on others to mow over any problems that might arise.  We see some young adults already today who are wracked with anxiety because of stresses they’ve never experienced and they come to a complete standstill, incapacitated to the point that they just run away or quit.

Personally, my money is on the young man who was able to problem solve his way home.  I think we really underestimate our young people.  In other countries/cultures, children are given much more responsibility and opportunities for decision making.  We look at these examples and think, I’m so glad my kids don’t have to have that kind of responsibility when the truth is, they NEED to have that responsibility and NEED to problem solve in order to become effective adults.

So my advice to lawnmower parents?  Get off the lawnmower and put your child on it.  Let them be in the driver’s seat to problem solve for themselves.  They’ll thank you for it later.  And you’ll be thankful when they have to decide what to do with you when you get older….