I learned an interesting lesson many years ago.   My husband and I were music leaders at our small church, a church where you knew everyone, as well as their their eccentricities and idiosyncrasies.  A new pastor had come to our church and the church quickly split into an “us vs them” mentality.  One group had started the church and wanted to maintain the status quo and those who had been drawn to the church by the new pastor wanted something different – and we were stuck in between. For some reason, people from both sides confided in us and we tried to play peacemakers for what seemed like an eternity.  Finally we had had enough.  We had stayed due to a feeling of commitment on our part, but it got to be too much.  As soon as we left, major changes happened, the new pastor stayed, the old guard left and a new church was born.

There have been other times in our lives and careers where we seemed to overstay our welcome, sometimes out of commitment, sometimes because it was just easier to deal with whatever, stay and make it work.  What would tend to happen is that things would just get worse and worse until we had no choice but to do something and in most if not all cases, where we ended up was better for all in the end.

I’ve figured out that sometimes God wants us to move and we’re too lazy to do anything about that, despite His hints to the contrary.  We get comfortable in our routine, our socio-economic status, the people we see every day and despite those things that happen that make us think we should make a change, we fight it.  Until things continue to get harder and unbearable enough to not want to deal with them anymore.

I spend a lot of time questioning myself when I feel this way.  Am I being over sensitive?  Did I overreact to something that was said?  Did I misinterpret something?  Or is this really a message that something new is on the horizon and I need to check into it?

Despite the fact that I am truly a “hummingbird”, once I find something comfortable, I tend to want to stay.  I really do want stability, but I may light from flower to flower within that stability to keep the interest alive.  This is why, in addition to trying to stay on top of music education, I work hard to keep up on “regular” ed.  I’ve taken Kagan workshops, gotten my certification to do Danielson evaluations, read up on Marzano, Gardner, and Archer, spoken on engagement at an ASCD international conference, been a part of the Whole Child Network, the Metropolitan Opera Education Conference and serve on a national board for music education.  My graduate credits include classes in administration and music education with a certification in Orff and classes that specialized in African and South American music.  I have served on gifted committees, school improvement and BIST/PBiS committees.  I have served on committees to evaluate schools, not just in music, but school wide.  I do these things so that I can better understand what is going on in the classroom to, in turn, better understand my kids.

But like other times in my life, I’m feeling hints again that maybe it’s time.  Time to begin work on something else, time to move on, time to set the record straight.  I’m not sure.  This is where being an introvert really sucks, for lack of a better word, because it takes a while to build up the courage to take a step.  But I’m not sure I want to wait until things become more uncomfortable before I make a decision.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.  I’ve also learned that sometimes we have to be made uncomfortable to take that next step.  It’s God little kick on the behind that says, I’m trying to tell you something, now listen.  And while it may be scary or take me in a new direction, He knows the way I should go and my job is to trust.

I had recently stalled in my plans to look into some new things because, well, I’m a little busy right now, but maybe this is the sign that I need to get back on track.  I’m discovering that I have a lot of encouragers in my life and they make me believe I can do just about anything. And in the meantime, I’ll get up in the morning, do my best to bring light into the lives of my kids through music and keep moving forward.