Attending an outdoor sporting event can be an interesting experience.  From juggling your food on your lap sitting amongst 90,000 people, hoping the person who leaps up next to you doesn’t kick over your drink sitting on the ground, to whatever weather conditions might arise to restroom facilities, it can be quite the challenge.  For me as a woman, the biggest challenge in the restroom is usually the line.  The bathrooms, while lacking in aesthetic appeal, have all that is necessary for privacy to do your thing.  However, I’ve been informed that for the men, things a just a little bit different.

It recently came to my attention that in the men’s restrooms at the stadium, the men use something akin to a trough to urinate in.  While this may initially seem to be TMI, what this really says, is that we expect men to deal with standing at a trough, in all their glory, next to other men who are all using the bathroom.  The idea that this is an acceptable way to do something so private in such a public way is ridiculous.  Just think, some engineer designed it this way – this is not just some Jerry-rigged idea – all in the name of practicality.  Or so my husband says.  And from what my husband has also shared with me, somehow men’s public restrooms are always filthy, and somehow this is ok. So our expectation as a culture for men is to behave and be treated  like animals I suppose.

I love men.  Masculine men who are smart, strong, protective, and caring.  Men who get excited about sports and cars, brats and beer.  This is not man bashing by any means of the imagination.  I would say it’s more culture bashing.  Our society seems to think that it’s ok for men to have to deal with things that are dirty, ugly or just plain unsanitary.  We talk about man caves and see commercials about men watching TV in garages on used couches.  I don’t suppose that men would love to sit in comfortable leather recliner in a beautiful room with delicious food and drink, would they?

But no, in our current culture, our expectation is that really masculine men settle for much less.  Real men are uncouth and drive large loud vehicles, they are very open with bodily function sounds and smells and scratch in inappropriate places.  They tell crude jokes and talk inappropriately about women with the good old boys.  Then we say boys will be boys because we as a culture have not only created this attitude but we perpetuate it.  We have done a disservice to men in general because we set low expectations for them.

It starts with the bathroom.  We know that people behave in a way they are expected or allowed to behave.  I see it in the classroom every day.  If we treat people in the way they should be treated, then they will behave differently.  What if men had more privacy in the bathroom?  What if sports venues and bars were nicely appointed and/or served great healthy food?  What if instead of a man cave it was a man castle?  We talk about men needing to treat women better, but they don’t even know how to treat themselves.  Maybe it’s time to teach them with some higher expectations – and better bathrooms.