“Is Santa real?”  It’s a question I get asked a lot this time of year.  My usual answer is that Santa is real at my house.  Other kids can disagree with me if I just state that Santa is real, but to make it personal and say “at my house” is something they can’t dispute.  What I chose to believe in my house is part of my freedom as a human being.  Notice that I didn’t say that because he is real at my house that he has to be real at their house.  I leave it up to the child to decide what to believe.  There are too many variables for me to try to persuade them otherwise.  I don’t want to get in the way of what parents want for their child at this stage and I don’t know what this would do to the child to have the security of their perceived knowledge taken away.

That’s the thing about beliefs.  Anyone can believe anything they want and can behave or make lifestyle choices in a way that reflects those beliefs.  The problem begins when I try to make someone believe the way I believe.  I can perhaps persuade someone to believe as I do or share with them the reasons why I believe the way I do but that’s really as far as I can go.

The problem with beliefs is that we tend to be passionate about them.  Whether it’s because of something my parents taught me or a life experience that has occurred, it’s obviously something I have feelings about.  While beliefs can be formed intellectually, unfortunately as humans, feelings tend to get in the way and that’s where we get in trouble.  We get defensive if someone disagrees with our beliefs or accuse others of not thinking intelligently because it’s just too hard to deal with the fact that some people may not share the same beliefs.  Surely if we feel so strongly about something, it has to be right and true, correct?  I’m thinking this could be the problem with the media these days.  But I digress.

I’ve always heard that as people grow older they become more set in their ways but what I’m finding out personally is that things are becoming grey-er, and I don’t mean my hair!  As I step out of my usual environment, out of comfort zone sometimes, I find myself meeting more diverse people who share their stories with me, who challenge what I thought I knew and and what I’ve been taught in the past.  Things are not as black and white as they used to be.  Some issues conflict greatly with my beliefs as a Christian but that’s something that has to be between me and God.  And that’s the way I see it for others.  It’s not my job to force my beliefs down anyone’s throat, but to live my beliefs the best I can and to trust that God is big enough to take care of the rest.

Beliefs don’t have to be the problem here, it’s the idea that I’m RIGHT because of my beliefs and if you don’t agree then you’re wrong.  Is it easy to decide what is right and what is wrong?  Not so much.  Just look at how we voted in the last presidential election, both sides believing with all of their hearts that the way they voted was the RIGHT way, based on their belief systems, anchored in their past experiences.  And what do we do?  We continue to use our beliefs to argue with each other, call each other inappropriate names, make everything political, label and stereotype everyone.

I there a way to fix this?  After all, every individual has specific beliefs about every aspect of their life, creating countless combinations for millions of people.  Just like I handle my Kinder’s tough question about Santa (tough for a 5 year old at least!), I believe simple kindness is the key.  Thinking of someone else before ourself.  Sure, I could tell the poor kid that his parents have been lying to him all along, that there has never been a Santa and he’s stupid to have ever believed that.  I could label his parents as enablers who are afraid to tell their kid the truth.  Chances are they are some tree hugging, snowflake Democrats or traditionalist non-progressive Republicans.  I can make it work either way. However you look at it, they’re wrong, right?  Is it beginning to look ridiculous to you too?

Look, I get that life is complicated and a lot of things influence our beliefs.  However, there’s nothing can get in the way of just getting to know someone better and being kind.  It’s not that hard.  And tomorrow when another Kinder asks me about Santa, I’ll give them a hug and put it back in their ball court because it’s important that it’s THEIR belief, not mine.