I’ve always heard and subsequently assumed that having a child or children helped teachers in terms of classroom management.  In reality, however, many times it felt like I had a better handle on my classroom than I did my own kids at home.  Oh sure, they behaved pretty well when we were in public or when they were at school but at home things could be pretty scary.  Nobody gives you a parenting manual and somehow I thought that behavior management with kids at home should be different than behavior management at school.  Maybe I was wrong.

After ten years of empty nesting, I have become an instant grandparent to 7 and 10 year old brothers.  I saw two very different examples of grandparenting in my own parents and my in-laws and I wasn’t sure where I would be in terms of my relationship with my grandchildren.  My own kids turned out pretty well, despite me, but being a grandparent is a chance to love on children without all the responsibility, right?  If only it were that easy.  I’m finding out that once a teacher, always a teacher.

Today I took the boys out by myself, something I hadn’t done since my own were little.  Oh sure, I’ve taken groups of kids out on field trips but I wasn’t related to them and I had a responsibility to their parents.  Oh – that’s right.  I also have a responsibility to my grandsons’ parents, don’t I?  So I found myself speaking to my grandsons in the same way I do my kids at school.  When one of them started to complain that he didn’t want to do something, I very calmly explained to him that we had already paid for it and were going to see it through.  When I found one of the boys upset because he didn’t get something he wanted, I gave him two other things to choose from and that was it.  Either he chose or he didn’t.  Not emotional, not defensive, just clearly stating expectations and consequences.  Exactly the kind of thing I do with my kids at school.  But is this how a grandma is supposed to behave?

Well, I’ve seen children speak to adults, including grandparents, in a whiney, sometimes disrespectful way and it makes me crazy.  I love my grandsons with all my heart, but it’s important to fulfill the wishes of their parents and help them to grow up to be good, respectful, ethical, hardworking young men.  So no, I’m not going to just buy or do anything they ask for but will within reason.  I will hug them all they want and tell them how wonderful and unique and smart they are.  I will attend as many of their school and family events as I can and make them the center of attention for those events.  But I will not spoil them and encourage bad behavior and those techniques come from my teaching.

So today, as I was reviewing my day, my creativity came out in the form of behavior management for my grandsons.  Maybe not a huge thing, but it is setting the tone of how our relationship is going to be.  If I care this much about other people’s children, shouldn’t I care at least that much for my own grandchildren?  Grateful that I’ll always be a teacher.