Most of the time I’m a pretty positive person.  I get excited by adventures and possibilities, about new experiences and fun times with family and friends.  I try to put positive things on social media, especially when life seems so full of negative these days.  However, I hate to break it to you, I have bad days, just like everyone else, and like most people, I try to hold it in so that I don’t appear to be a complainer or whiner. But some days are just not so golden.

Don’t you wish you could just be honest with others when those not so golden days happen?  When someone stops and asks how your day is going you don’t just go the automatic “good!  How’s yours?” to which they respond “good”.  For me it’s refreshing when someone make the decision to to confide in me a little, to let me know that their day or week has not been so good and that they’re struggling.  It allows me to get out of myself for a little bit and pay more attention to someone else.

For me however when I find my less than golden days occur more and more often, it lets me know that I need a change somewhere.  Sometimes it’s just getting away for a weekend, sometimes it’s leaving the computer behind and enjoying friends and family, and sometimes it means that major changes need to happen.  I think it’s God’s way of letting us know that we’ve let something go on too long, that it’s time for a change in habits or routines or people.

As much as I would love too, I want to say that things have been great, but there have been struggles of late, struggles that have manifested themselves in the form of lethargy and sadness, frustration and feelings of hopelessness.  It’s something I have to watch out for as it can become overwhelming.  But how do you share this kind of thing with anyone?  I have to get up every day, put on a professional smile for colleagues and friendly smile for students and do my job.

Perhaps it’s the weather.  After all, there has been nothing but gray, cold and snow forever now and after a while it gets to me.  I know it happens to a lot of people and we’re all struggling together.  Maybe it’s because it’s the end of the third quarter, right before break and the kids haven’t been able to get outside for a while.  Maybe it’s because I have children rolling their eyes at me and questioning how I do things.  Certainly could be.

I struggle because this all seems so very trivial.  I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, a good job, a great family and friends.  And yet we know that depression doesn’t depend on whether or not you have access to the creature comforts.  I am very fortunate and I am also bummed.

The good news here is that tomorrow is another day.  Something magical could happen, a surprise perhaps,  a meaningful note or conversation could occur.  Maybe it will get warm enough for the kids to go outside for recess.  You never know.  Just hoping for a golden day.  WWBD.