I’m evil.  I admit it.  Today I asked a child, a kindergartner, to sit in a safer spot (because I can’t call it a safe seat) because she was, well….hugging me too much.  I know.  I must be the worst human being ever.  Little people hug me all the time and once in a while, I’ll actually get a little sideways hug from one of the older kids.  So, here was this adorable, all dressed in the beautiful twirly ballerina style skirt, big brown eyed kid and all she wanted to do was hug me.

Ok, granted, it was every two minutes while I was trying to teach class.  And there was never any warning.  I could be doing an activity with the rest of the class and all of a sudden there would be this attack hug.  At first I would very kindly say “thank you” and ask her to go back to her dot, but after a while, quite frankly, it became quite the distraction and just a tad bit annoying.  I mean, there are 20 other little bodies in there that I need to take care of so I can’t just focus on one child the whole time.

Of course, the look on her face when I asked her to move should have made me feel bad but it was actually a bit of a relief.  Maybe I could actually give the directions to an activity or teach a song without being attacked several times.  That sounds harsh, doesn’t it?  But unless you’ve been tackled by a kindergartner, and by the way, they’re bigger than we used to be at that age, you really don’t know, do you?

Hugs are wonderful things of course.  I was reading the other day that people crave hugs 13 times a day and that a certain length of time in a hug can reduce blood pressure and anxiety.  I understand the importance of a hug.  I also understand that there are kids that really need hugs and I usually have no problem with that.  That’s why I’m questioning whether or not I’m evil.

So after school, as I was getting ready to leave, another hugger stopped me in the hall.  “Hug Mrs. Bush!” and she snuggled up against me.  We made a deal a couple of years ago when she was struggling a bit behaviorally that she could come get a hug whenever she needed it.  Now I think she just likes the hugs.  Over and over again.  I should be more patient.  “One more hug Mrs. Bush!”  and a minute later as I turn towards my room to get my stuff, “one more hug Mrs. Bush!”.  Oh, and a minute later as I’m trying to move away gracefully, “one more hug Mrs. Bush!”.  I think I made it maybe a foot towards my door.  By the fourth hug, I finally convinced her that I needed to get going.  I didn’t really, but I’m pretty sure she would have kept it up until her parents came to pick her up from after school care.

I was one of those kids who didn’t get hugs growing up and I certainly never asked one of my teachers for one.  I just assumed that most grown-ups didn’t hug and the ones who did made me feel uncomfortable.  Probably because I wasn’t used to them. Knowing what I know now about hugs, maybe they would have alleviated the anxiety I grew up with and still deal with all these years later.  Now that I can get hugs whenever I want, I ask for them often.  They’re a wonderful thing.

So, it’s not like I’m going to just stop giving kids hugs – we all need them.  I never thought I would have to teach kids when and how to hug, but maybe it’s not such a bad thing.  Maybe then I won’t have to discipline kids for hugging anymore.