The biggest problem with being a people pleaser and trying not to make waves is that sometimes you give up things that are important to you.  You try to convince yourself that it’s not that big a deal, and in some cases you find out that the thing maybe wasn’t as important as you thought.  But sometimes you discover that the thing you gave up is one of the things that brings joy to your life and you realize you’ve compromised your belief system.

In the last few months the content of my writing has been brought to my attention.  As my blog title states – a mid-life music teacher’s musings – it means I write about my thoughts concerning growing older and teaching music.  I believe my readers know when I’m writing from the heart and can tell when I’m just writing something just to write.  My goal is to take everyday events and make them relevant somehow, working to make people to think or feel just a little differently.  Much like my other love, music.

The joy of music, and now for me, writing, is that they are powerful forms of communication. Words have the power to make people think and even change how they think.  They can inform, make you laugh or cry, or persuade a person to act upon something they believe in.  The other side of this is that for me, writing is cathartic.  For many years of my life, I was either not allowed to say what I thought or was afraid to say what I thought.  The blog has helped me get over that fear, to organize my thoughts and to talk to my readers. For an introvert like myself, it’s the perfect way to get your thoughts out.

So, what does a conscientious writer do when their writing is questioned?  Well, at first you read it over and over again.  Was there thoughtlessness or maliciousness?  Was there any misinformation? Was everyone or everything within the story treated fairly? I tend to read what I write over and over again before I ever publish anyway and I work to never intentionally focus on any one person unless it’s in a positive light.

Humor comes from a lot of different places and working with kids – well it can come from anywhere anytime.  There are good days and bad days, hysterical behavior and sad behavior.  There are surprises in terms of the gifts you see in children, just when you think you’ve figured a kid out, they do something fantastic. Or you discover that a kid has overcome amazing hardships and is the very picture of grit.  These are the things that bring laughter or tears, allow us to see kids as little miracles, feel gratitude.  That’s the purpose of writing.

Now I find that I’m censoring myself and quite frankly, I’ve been miserable.  So a decision needs to be made.  Do I change what I write about because I’ve been questioned, or do I continue to do what I’ve done before, write with good intentions, working to make the writing as close to an art form as I can?  Life is short. I need to write what I feel strongly about, things I feel could make a difference in someone’s life or teaching.  I’ve decided to take back the joy.