The decision has been made, I’m reading the  how-to books, making the plans, sitting at the computer when the voices begin.

“What makes you think you can write a book?”

“Nobody will ever read it, except maybe your friends and it’s only because they like you.”

“No publisher will ever take it seriously.”

It’s a downer for sure.  The problem with being creative is that most of us try to attach value to it – the creation is either good or bad, when in truth it just “is”.  We try to attach a name to the voices or “tapes”.  Sometimes it’s the voice of someone from your past who had this amazing knack for knocking you down a notch or two with just a few choice words, or maybe it’s the voice of evil who never wants to see you succeed and for sure, doesn’t want to see you give credit to the ultimate Creator.  So these voices swirl around in your psyche, attempting to convince you that you are not good enough, you are not talented enough, you are not smart enough, you are not enough – period.

So whatever it is you are wanting to do, to attempt, to create, you must be really driven to do, willing to do whatever it takes, ignoring or pushing against those voices.  It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  It’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with family, friends and colleagues that will encourage yet tell you truth along the journey.

There are actually times when I have spoken out loud to these voices, hopefully not in a scary way, but sometimes I have to hear my own voice.  “I know I can do this, I’m not listening to you, go away and leave me alone”.  I spent a little time doing that this week as I was digging in to do the heavy work necessary to choose and organize my blogs in some kind of order, an on-going process.  As I struggled with the idea of writing in traditional chapters, the voices started – “see, it’s too hard for you – you should give up”.  Then I talked with my son who suggested I think about doing essays, organized by subject or focus.  He then brought me some examples he had in his library (it’s extensive) for me to look at.  The voices had been beaten for now and my enthusiasm was restored.

However, the voices aren’t just negative, they also slyly give you reasons to just wait or cop out.  “Sure you’re overweight, but that’s who you are right now.  Maybe you can do something about it later”.  The voices give you excuses, reasons to settle for less, “logical” reasons why now just won’t work.  Even if you feel something in your gut that tells you that NOW is the time and you can do this, the voices can very sensibly tell you that it’s just not the right time because of finances, job, or any number of rational circumstances.  It’s like having children however;  if you wait for just the right time to jump into something you really feel drawn to do, you’ll never do it.

So tonight I’m feeling pretty satisfied.  Despite the voice’s attempts to stop me this week, the first draft of the introduction has been written, the blogs have been read and re-read, and put into preliminary groups, index cards are prepared so that I can start playing with order.  The goal tomorrow is to put the cards in some kind of order.

There’s much more to do but it’s worth it because I’ve been working on this in my head for years, have been writing the blog for two years and now it’s time to write the book.  For those of you who have been contemplating doing something new, something that brings you joy, something that you just can’t keep from doing, DO IT and be prepared for the voices that are bound to come.  But voices are just voices.  Ignore them and follow your dream.