We were standing out in the hallway talking today, one of my favorite little guys and I.  Oh, he’s a challenge, that’s for sure, but in the last year or so, I’ve really learned to care for and appreciate him.  Today when he walked in my room, I could tell he was struggling a bit and after only a few minutes in class, I decided to ask him to go for a walk with me.  (Thank goodness for my student teacher!) He was a little wary at first as I’m sure he thought I might be walking him down the hall to the office, but as he hadn’t done anything to warrant a trip to the office, we stood in the hallway and talked instead.

The conversation took an interesting turn when he said, “you know, you’re the second hardest teacher in school”.  So I asked him, is this a good or a bad thing, to which he replied, “oh, it’s a good thing”.  So my next question was, who is the first hardest teacher?  “Oh, that’s Mrs. S.”  And why is she the first hardest?  “She’s very serious about her stuff.” Now, this is a child who struggles with any number of things and yet he appreciates the “hard” teachers.  In fact, after talking with Mrs. S. about this conversation, she shared with me how well he does in her class and how he loves her classroom. I’ve been thinking about this most of the afternoon and here are my thoughts and theories about kids like my little friend.

First of all, kids want (whether they know it or not) and NEED structure.  There have to be rules and those rules are meant to be followed.  Not arbitrary rules, but rules with a purpose.  This is not just to make my life easier for me as a teacher, but it is a life skill that needs to be learned by the student.  I know of  no profession, no job, no educational institution that doesn’t have rules to follow.  Can there be too many rules?  Absolutely!  Too many rules just makes things confusing for the kid.  However, well thought out, simple rules for my classroom, explained thoroughly and followed through consistently are essential for every child, no matter how compliant or strong willed they may be.

Secondly, kids appreciate adults who are honest with them.  There is absolutely a way to speak truth to kids in a no-nonsense way to let them know that you care but that perhaps what they’re doing is not the smartest thing they’ve ever done and why it’s not ok.  Of course, listening is important first, but after that, when the time is right, honesty can do an amazing amount of good.  It may not be what they want to hear at the moment, but revisiting it later after you’re sure they’re listening completely change their perspective.

Lastly – it’s all about building relationships.  A couple of years ago, before I developed a relationship with this little guy, it was all I could do to get him to do ANYTHING, much less confide in me.  That’s one of the things I like most about being a specialist and one of the the things that’s hardest about being a specialist.  I get to spend  6 years developing relationships  with kids.  And the hardest part is spending six years with hundreds of kids and attempting to build relationships with them.

So, how does it feel to be the second hardest teacher at school?  Pretty good actually.  Because if one of my kids who is struggling can talk with me about it in the hallway, we must have developed a pretty good relationship, and that’s ok with me.