I’m staying at this lovely hotel where everything is slightly over the top.  Ok, it’s REALLY over the top.  The size, the decor, the service, EVERYTHING is over the top.  Even the room service menu in its descriptions is more than you might expect.  You gotta love a place that lists bacon as a “breakfast enhancement”.  I personally believe that bacon enhances anything and everything, so when I tell someone I love them more than bacon, it really means something.  So imagine my excitement when on our breakfast buffet this morning was this lovely display of bacon for us to partake.

So yes, I took my standard three pieces of bacon – 2 is too few, 4 is too many – and took a bite, anticipating the joy it would bring me.  You need to understand that I am a bacon fanatic and have, unintentionally (maybe), eaten some bacon for every meal on certain days.  I remember my grandmother making bacon for me until I either stopped eating it or she ran out, whichever came first.  Pork fat rules.  I think you are getting the picture.  You probably wonder why you’re friends with a crazy woman now, aren’t you?  So back to the anticipation.  I’m looking forward to the fatty, greasy, salty goodness of this and I take a bite.  And this thing is as hard as a rock.

Now, my mother used to ask for her bacon to be “crisp” but this was beyond crisp.  This was hard to break.  I would say chew but there was not actual chewing involved so breaking is a better description.  So I did something I’ve never done in my 60 years of life.  I left bacon on the plate.  I can hear you gasping as you read this.  The bacon that was advertised to “enhance” was a complete breakfast disappointment.  How could someone let this happen?  How do you overcook bacon that badly without burning it?  Here I am, almost an entire day later, traumatized by the experience.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating just a bit.  Or not.  So, are there any life lessons to be learned here?  I believe in bacon but I also believe that everything that happens in life can be a lesson.  Just not sure what those lessons are right now.  I’m still just so disappointed.

But no, seriously, I’m sure the lesson is to begin again tomorrow with anticipation.  Anticipation for a productive day with great friends and colleagues.  Anticipation for great sharing and learning.  But most importantly, great anticipation for that favorite of all breakfast enhancements, bacon.