November was an odd month, full of highs and lows, times to teach and times to learn.  A month of retrospection, considering ones age, experience, friends, family and colleagues, looking at the past and anticipating the future.  A time to remind oneself to be mindful, to be present in the moment, not missing even the smallest detail because of events on the calendar.  A time to consider priorities and perhaps bravely step out into the wilderness.

November was a month to remind me to be grateful.  Grateful for family, bounty, opportunities, health.  Grateful to be old enough to perhaps have a bit of wisdom but not so old that I’m not still learning.  Grateful for friends who have become family in a place I never would have expected.

November marked the culmination of a season of loss for several friends, reminding me that as I get older, there will be more of this.  So many friends who have lost parents, spouses, children, lifelong friends, and pets.  So many people to place on a prayer list for comfort.  I don’t know how they bear the sadness.

November reminded me that to remain vulnerable means occasionally being disappointed when people don’t always have the best of intentions and that I stand the chance of being hurt or used.  I have to work hard not to become cynical about people in general, but it is a reminder to remain mindful and aware.  The world is not always as safe as I would naively want it to be.

November was a time to learn about myself, what I am capable of, and the steps I need to take to fulfill my goals.  Several of those steps were taken this month.  While God knows my future, He still expects me to do the work.  He’s not a genie in a bottle, after all.  I do the work and wait to see which doors and windows open and close, thanking Him for the guidance and lessons learned along the way.

November was a time of great overwhelm and great release.  I need to say “no” more to those things that really don’t matter in my life and yes to those things that bring me joy.  I need to stop being afraid of disappointing others with my decisions.  I need to feed myself so that I can feed others.  I don’t do nearly enough for others, partly because I’m selfish with the little time I have to myself.   I watch those who seem to have so little give so freely of what they have and their selflessness in the midst of personal trials both inspires me and makes me feel guilty.  I’ve seen so much of that this month.

December has arrived and the decorations are up, the light reminding me of the light of Jesus.  Will I be a part of the light or of the darkness?  Will December be the same as November or will I have learned from these experiences to head into the new year?   Maybe the question should be, will I do anything?  Will I take steps to become more mindful, even more grateful, more vulnerable, and there for friends in need?  Will I continue steps towards future goals, say no more often to those things that don’t bring me joy, give more to others?  It’s a long and lofty list and like everything I do, I tend to overload, but if November has taught me anything, it’s that it’s one day, one step at a time and that there will always be more lessons to learn.