Tomorrow is the 50th Anniversary of the first Earth Day.  I know that young people will have a hard time believing this, but there was a time when people just used the earth for a giant trash can, at least in our country.  Seriously.  As a kid, I can remember the sides of the road or highway completely littered with trash where people had just thrown things out the windows of their cars.  Stuff was dumped into the water from all kinds of manufacturing plants, dead fish floated in lakes and bays.  Toxins were released into the air.  It was literally an ecological nightmare.

I’ll be honest, I was only 10 years old and although I remember seeing this, it was the way it had always been and so it didn’t seem that big a deal.  I do remember the commercial that came out with the Native American (who was actually an Italian American who played Native Americans) standing and looking at the trash with the tear rolling down his face.   The “People start pollution, people can stop it” phrase was a challenge of sorts and my elementary school took it seriously.

So on April 22, 1970, I and many students from my school went out with parents and teachers and worked to clean a vacant lot in my neighborhood where people had just been dumping their trash on a regular basis.  And I’m not just talking trash, there were old appliances and all kinds of things, with tall grass growing up through it.  Everyone was assigned a job and I remember picking up garbage with my friends on a Saturday morning while my mom was off doing something else.  I wasn’t in charge of the assignment obviously.  I remember having fun with my friends, so excited when the space was clean and some of the dads mowed down all that tall grass.  Look what we had done!

Then I walked home with one of my friends with the intention that we would play together that afternoon.  As we went to my front door, my mom was standing there, where she very calmly, with a smile on her face, told my friend that I had stuff to do that afternoon and maybe we could play later.  I was disappointed but ok.  And then the door closed and suddenly I was thrown into the wall.  She was screaming at me about how she had ended up babysitting little brothers and sisters all morning while the other parents got to help outside.  Why hadn’t I told the teacher what she had wanted to do?  As you can imagine, having been caught completely by surprise, I had no idea what to say and I don’t remember what happened next.  Now, before you are completely horrified, my mom used more scare tactics than anything else, but once in a while it got physical and I was terrified of her.  I’m not sure of what happened because I have blocked a LOT of stuff out. Looking back on this as an adult, I realize that as a stay at home mom with a 10 year old and a 6 year old, she was no doubt just beyond frustrated. I just happened to be there.

Needless to say, when Earth Day came up the next year, I didn’t want to hear about it, much less participate in it.  Or the next, or the next.  And 50 years later, Earth Day still brings up feelings in my stomach that I would rather forget.  It’s silly.  After all it was a long time ago.  And thankfully, so many things have changed since then.  But just as I was struck by the “people start pollution, people can stop it” then, as I look towards Earth Day tomorrow and see how the earth is rejuvenating itself while we are all stuck inside, I wonder if there really is a way for us to coexist.  After seeing what happens when we’re not involved, could we possibly have enough discipline and vision to keep it from going back to what it was just over a month ago?

Well, despite the fact that I will do my best NOT to think about Earth Day tomorrow, I do marvel at the earth itself as the trees bud and the leaves and flowers pop out, how the birds sing every morning outside my bedroom window and life just goes on.  Perhaps tomorrow is a day that we all make peace with the earth and other things that we need to let go of.  Perhaps we should spend the day marveling at the wonder of creation without interfering.  Maybe it’s a time to make peace with Earth Day.