The newest guilty pleasure at our house is the Great British Baking Show. Sure we had heard people talking about it, but really? A baking show? But here we were, scrolling through Netflix and we thought, what the heck? We were hooked.

We were immediately taken by the creativity, marveling at how someone could take something as simple as bread or cake and make it beautiful. However, after a while it wasn’t just the creative baking that kept me watching. It was watching friendships develop and how, rather than people going for the jugular, they cheered each others successes and consoled each other through failures. I couldn’t help but think about how a competitive show of the same type would become cut throat in our current culture. After all, the title of every competitive cooking show on Food Network usually ends with “Wars”.

I watched as these perfectionists competed civilly with each other and challenged themselves, taking blame for their own failures, and working to learn more and work harder the next time. Never do they blame someone else, make excuses in even the worst conditions or speak harsh words to someone else. The show draws you in with a simple premise and hooks you with humor and a lot of sheer grit and determination. You find yourself rooting for everyone. There are no good guys or bad guys, they are just regular, everyday human beings working to be the best they can be at something they feel passionate about.

Which leads me to Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The tiny, lace collar wearing, woman who followed her passion to be the best she could be. While I will never have the opportunity to know her to judge her character first hand, many quotes attributed to her have caused me to take notice.

“My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.”

“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. ” 

“Dissents speak to a future age. It’s not simply to say, ‘My colleagues are wrong and I would do it this way.’ But the greatest dissents do become court opinions and gradually over time their views become the dominant view. So that’s the dissenter’s hope: that they are writing not for today, but for tomorrow.”

While what she did was beyond admirable, it was HOW she did it that speaks to me. She was a lady who spoke her mind but in a thoughtful, intellectual way. In the process of sharing her thoughts, she developed a following of people, not by pushing her opinion or ideals on others, or by telling others they were wrong or stupid, but by getting people excited about she was excited about. It was all about the possibilities, about how great the future could be.

I don’t know about you, but for me it’s the finger pointing, the name calling, the labeling, the not wanting to listen to all stories without judgement that is tearing us apart as families and as communities. I don’t know that I’ve found a quote from RBG that said “you have to believe what I believe or you’re an idiot”. I’m not saying she didn’t think it or that there weren’t people who tested her – I didn’t know her personally – but I can’t imagine that she would have people from all walks of life following her if she hadn’t had a hook that pulled us all in, a hook that made us think of a future filled with possibilities for everyone. A hook that encouraged people to be the best they could be and not condemn them for not fitting the ideal. A place where we could try and fail, pick ourselves up and try again. Consider Ghandi. He didn’t say “be the change I wish to see in the world” he said “be the change YOU wish to see in the world”. He gives us the opportunity to change ourselves without telling us we have to be like him.

Which leads me back to my baking show. We can all bake bread. But it doesn’t have to look or taste alike to be beautiful and delicious. I’ve learned that I need to work more to let people be who they are and help them find positive ways to make change, making friends, consoling when needed and cheering each other on.