Before I tell this story, you need to know that I have great boys, who have grown into great young men. However, at some point in their high school careers I had to speak to each of them about “playing the game”. In this world, there are rule followers and those who question the status quo.  I remember the parent teacher conferences where the teacher would say one son or the other was not reaching their full potential because they wouldn’t turn in their work and therefore weren’t scoring high enough,  with my sons countering with, I ace all my tests, why do I have to do the busy work?

You see, I’m a rule follower, a game player.  I read my opponent and make my moves accordingly.  To be successful in school, I did my homework, I did my studying , I wrote my papers and did as well as I could on tests.  Even when it didn’t make sense, even if it seemed redundant, even if it seemed my teacher was learning the subject right before he or she taught it, I played the game.  At this point in my life, I’m beginning to realize that playing the game can limit you and I know that striving towards a number or goal is all relative and is only as valuable as it is perceived by someone.  Completely arbitrary and yet totally powerful.  Someone decides numbers have meaning outside of the obvious as they determine whether or not a student passes a test, gets into higher education or achieves tenure.  The numbers can justify so many things, back up belief systems and many times, the people who decide the significance of the numbers perhaps have more power than they should.

For those who know what they know and don’t want to spend time playing the game, this is frustrating.  Just leave them alone, let them learn and do their jobs.  But no, someone is always scrutinizing them, always analyzing, always assigning numbers and sharing those numbers with others who feel those numbers have meaning.  There are those who feel that comparing numbers creates opportunity for competition, whether the other person wants to compete or not.  And if the numbers aren’t high enough, others judge based on those numbers; you’re not as smart, as fast, as educated, as worthy as those who somehow play the game or luck into the numbers.

The fact that we allow people to get away with this is where the problem lies.  We take the numbers we’ve been given and deal with the frustration because we wonder what’s the point.  It’s a system, run by people who believe they can turn anything into a numbers game (usually in their favor), and the truth is if you’re willing, you don’t have to play the game.  You can still do whatever you want to do, and while there will always be those who won’t take you seriously or will continue to judge because you don’t live up to the numbers that they’ve determined make you successful, there are always alternative ways to play the game and have the last laugh.  

So there is a choice to make.  Do we continue to live our lives based on the expectations and numbers games of others, or do we play our own game with a completely different score at the end?