In the world of the Jetsons, one of the things I thought was so cool was that George could call in on a screen and talk to his boss, or Jane could “call” a friend and see her on the screen in real time.  A virtual world I suppose we would call it, but there was a basis in reality there too.  The people on the other side of the screen were people they already had relationships with, so they were just maintaining or continuing them.  However now, we not only meet with people we know, we also meet people we’ve never met before and it feels like we have a relationship with them even though we’ve never been in the same physical space.  How do we even know they’re real if we’ve never seen them with our own eyes?  Just asking.

The definition of virtual we’ll use is this:  carried out, accessed or stored by means of a computer, especially over a network. All of these meetings and events played out through our computer or phone screens where you discuss all kinds of things, forced to express your ideas or feelings in a room by yourself with your face plastered on a screen where everyone is looking right at you.  It is an introvert’s nightmare.  It shouldn’t be, I mean, after all, it’s virtual, right?  They can’t touch you, you can mute them, you can hide yourself behind a name or picture but there are expectations and rules that must be followed.  You see, even adults will revert back to childhood antics without them.  Passing notes behind the teacher’s back still exists, only it’s called texting on your phone to talk about the person you’re listening to virtually.  We control our background to hide the clutter or try to impress with our filled bookcases or art as though we’re actually inviting these people into our spaces but no. There they are, peering at us from their little Brady Bunch boxes doing the same thing.

Here’s where it gets really weird – it’s when you start having feelings for and about the people in the little boxes.  It could be all kinds of feelings – inspiration, anger, admiration, intimidation, frustration – it runs the gamut.  But what is even weirder is you begin to develop actual relationships like friendship (or not), based on the interactions you have with them in a virtual meeting once a week or once a month on Zoom.  I can’t tell you how many new people I’ve met on zoom that I may never meet in person.  Or the people I HAVE been in the same space with before all this Covid craziness but didn’t know them yet and therefore never interacted with them.  It feels frustrating to have wasted that time when maybe we could have developed a real vs virtual relationship at some point in the past.  I suppose.  After all, am I not getting to know them now?  

I mean, there have always been pen pals, then things like on-line dating.  I know several couples who very successfully created lasting relationships, including marriage, through these experiences.  I suppose it’s a safe way to get to know someone without being in the same room.  Which then turns into an introvert’s dream, right?  It’s so confusing.  

We do get to see aspects of these people we wouldn’t have before.  In my situation, I’ve been used to sitting at U-shaped tables covered with tablecloths while we sit in uncomfortable chairs for hours talking about all kinds of things.  Now, I get to choose my chair to prepare for long meetings, I can stock up with my favorite foods and beverages to have at my disposal.  People with young children or pets get interrupted and rather than it being unprofessional, everyone oohs and aahs.  Gone are the days of business or business casual – bring on the comfy pants and slippers.  There is a part of me that misses dressing up and hanging with my colleagues, eating mediocre chicken from a hotel buffet.  I felt like a grown-up.  Now it’s just me in front of a screen, nobody special, texting during the meeting, just there to contribute cognitively when it’s my turn and I can raise my virtual hand.