It has been a while and I’m out of practice.  The daily exercise of writing something ended some time ago, partly due to the pandemic, partly due to not having kids to write about and feeling a little lost.  Once in a while, something would catch my eye or there would be something I felt really strongly about and I just had to write, but these moments seemed to happen less and less.  The pipe dream of writing the book seemed every bit of that, with those who had initially encouraged me letting the dream die as well.  After all, one can only talk about something for so long before people no longer believe.

About two and a half months ago, I received a video email from someone.  Someone who invited me to consider joining a group of creative minds to get the spark going again.  Someone who believed I would be a good fit, who said she adored me and hoped I would consider joining them in order to fan those sparks into flames.  To share things I had created and get kind but honest feedback.  It would be eight weeks of work, learning, creating and sharing to see where things might go.  Not my usual thing, I mean, I have a hard time meeting one stranger, but this was a group of nearly 20 people that I didn’t know, except for this one kind soul who invited me to check it out.  Best thing I’ve done in a long, long, time.

I’m not going to go into detail about what has happened the last couple of months because I’m not ready to share things yet and I’ve learned that’s ok.  It hasn’t always been easy – my lack of technology skills showed up early as I couldn’t figure out how to join the first zoom (I know, I’ve been zooming nearly every day for two years – so embarrassing), I had to dash from work at exactly 3:30 every Tuesday in order to get to our creative work or share sessions, I’ve given up a couple of hours every Saturday afternoon for eight weeks to gather with this group of like minded people from literally all over the world to get the spark going again, sometimes having to go directly into zoom meetings for something else afterward.  Our last meeting is this Saturday and I’m already sad.  It has been a life changing experience.

My initial thoughts when I was asked were A.  I don’t have time and B. This is too much money to spend on myself.  I tend to say yes to everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.  The combination of being a hummingbird, wanting to flit around to try a bit of everything and my tendency to be a people pleaser gets me in trouble a lot, often biting off more than I can chew.  But I had just left a job that had completely drained my bucket and this just felt like the right thing to do.  The choice (my word for this year) was to be sensible or follow my gut.  I followed my gut and I haven’t felt this good in a long time.  Yes it’s work, but it’s work for me.  It’s exciting, engaging, challenging, fulfilling and so much more.  I received some feedback on my work last week that shot me to a high I haven’t felt in years. 

I’ve had the opportunity in the last decade or so to hang out with some the finest, most brilliant people in the field of music education.  These are people who excel at their craft, who have been doing it for most of their lives, who feel a distinct passion for the work.  I love working with and around them because they inspire me to be a better person, and hopefully, a better music educator.  But the last two months have been different.  Yes, I have the opportunity to again hang out with actors and writers and musicians and artists who excel at what they do, HOWEVER, the difference lies in the fact that these people are looking for a new challenge.  The gentleman who has been working for a large themepark/conglomerate for years who is now working on his own screenplay, the former educator working on a book based on his life, the architect who is doing art installations and writing a rock opera, the actor writing a play.  All of us leaving the security of what we’ve known and done forever, stepping out to do something new, learning the steps to walk through our new adventures from people who have walked in our shoes, encouraging each other along the way.  It hasn’t been perfect, we have all gotten distracted by life, not accomplishing the daily/weekly goals we’ve set for ourselves, but we’re learning to forgive ourselves and keep moving forward, learning to ask questions at a time in our lives when we think we’re supposed to have all the answers.  It’s a lesson in humility and courage, things that tend to bring people together.  If only everyone could have this experience.

I’ve often reflected on the fact that I’ve been very fortunate to meet people who have opened doors for me or encouraged me to open those doors to set so many opportunities in motion.  Fortunate to be at the right place at the right time.  Smart enough most of the time to know a great opportunity when I see one, but perhaps not always brave enough to go for it.  A well timed invitation, however, can be a powerful thing.