While the pandemic has obviously brought to light dysfunction and hardships around the world, it has also illuminated individual priorities, character flaws, and strengths.  Like many events throughout history, we tend to find out what a person is really made up of when faced with challenging circumstances.  We talk about the greatest generation with a sense of awe, perhaps because they had to deal with so much in a relatively short amount of time and still managed to function and thrive.  They didn’t talk about the hard times and the suffering much if at all and seemed to focus on the work at hand and the future – raising and supporting their families, serving and being a part of their communities.  You might argue that they were holding it all in and that wasn’t healthy, but I will argue that focusing on the positive and where they could make a difference was a way to grow.

People who had been through so much continued to sacrifice, giving up everyday items to support causes in an effort to work together and serve their country.  Things weren’t perfect of course, after all we’re dealing with people, and I’m certain if we did our research, we would find all kind of crazy things happening, but all in all, people worked, scraped and made things happen.  

So, let’s flash forward to 2022.  Again, life happens and as a human race, we’re surviving a pandemic, there’s a war on the other side of the world, the country has been reduced to two political parties where we silo everyone so we can disagree about EVERYTHING. We’re seeing everyone, especially young people, plagued with mental health issues.  Are things any tougher today than they were at the beginning of the 20^th century?  I would argue that things are easier today, that despite things like inflation, it’s nothing like the depression and we’re watching a war that we’re not involved in – at least not yet.  And it looks like we’re coming out of two year long pandemic and getting back to more of what we’ve been used to.  Not the same, but it took two years to get here, so chances are it’s going to take a while to heal.  So why aren’t more people working to make good things happen?  Why are people dropping out of the workforce and life in general, at such an alarming rate?  What has been so hard that the result is so different?

I believe there is one main difference between the boomers and whatever we’re calling the last couple of generations.  I was taught HOW to keep going and survive despite life’s ups and downs, the inevitable ebbs and flows of life events that affect EVERY person.  Taught by my parents (sometimes through difficult circumstances), by my teachers, mentors and peers. Life, death, health, illness, financial woes and successes.  What do you do and how do you behave when things get hard?  Sometimes we refer to it as grit and whether it’s something you’re born with or something you’re taught, it’s absolutely necessary to have in order to survive.  What I believe might be happening is that we have adults who, with the very best of intentions, are working to alleviate any opportunity for adversity in the lives of young people in order to protect them, but in reality, we’re hurting them by not giving them the tools to survive these inevitable difficult life events.  Without this preparation, we hear things like, I can’t do this, or it’s too hard, or I need a mental health day.  

This may be a bit of a sticky wicket here, but we know that the more someone hears something, the more they believe it.  If I tell a child they are smart or beautiful every day, eventually they believe it.  If I tell them they’re not strong enough to handle something, and not give them the tools to handle things, they believe that too.  When we hear how hard everything is from the media, day after day, we begin to believe it. When the hard times come, people prioritize themselves instead of others, show their true colors or find a strength they maybe didn’t realize they had.  There are different options during times of great difficulty, options to give up and give in or step up and step out.  It’s a choice.

The greatest stories that come out of times like these are where people make the best of an awful situation, choose to serve others or survive against all odds.  This is not the easy way out, and it’s by far harder than giving up.  What is it we’re not equipping people with to do this?  While things like therapy are important, we tend to use it in a reactive way rather than proactive. Hardship and dysfunction are opportunities to grow into a better, stronger person and it’s our job at adults, leaders, and mentors to share the tools and strategies with others who need them in order to survive not only what’s happening now but what will happen again in the future.  History will continue to repeat itself whether we like it or not.  Are you and those you care about equipped to survive whatever comes next?