“Knowing that I have the ability to control my air quality feels very empowering”.  I paused the TV, ran it back and listened again.  What was this commercial for?  Air filters.  I have to admit I laughed out loud as it showed a lovely young couple with a cute dog, so proud of their new, sparkling clean house and all I could think about was, installing an air filter is empowering?  I wish I had known that when I was a kid and dad taught me how to replace them.

Why does it feel empowering?  The commercial claims that the filter helps capture dust, bacteria and viruses.  Oh, now I understand.  She feels empowered because she feels in control of her environment.  Since COVID, I’m sure a lot of people are trying everything they can to feel more in control of their lives.  No matter how small an effort it may be.   

As I continued to think about this, several things came to mind.  I wondered if the company selling the filters was exploiting people’s fears just to sell more filters.  I wondered if people think they’re ever really in control (something I’ve struggled with), and lastly, shouldn’t empowerment be about something more important than air filters?

As usual, I looked up definitions of empowerment from several different sources. 

To make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

Empowerment means people having power and control over their own lives. (notice it says their OWN lives). People get the support they need that is right for them. Empowerment means that people are equal citizens. They are respected and confident in their communities.

Having qualities that give a person or a group of people the means to take more control of their lives and become stronger and more independent.

Now, I felt empowered after receiving my degree, when I got my first teaching job (despite not having a clue about what I was in for), and when people I respected empowered me with responsibilities for events and other people.  I felt empowered as a kid when my dad gave me money to go down to the convenient store by myself to buy something, and as an adult, the first time I traveled by myself or when I walked away from a couple of unsafe relationships. While I may have been anxious doing these things, I never felt empowered because I changed an air filter.  That kind of thing comes from fear and feeling out of control.  

Changing an air filter is something I do to keep some dust out of my home.  It’s a way to make things healthier.  Just like I would wash my dishes, wash my hands after handling raw meat, and doing what I need to do to maintain my home, these are just everyday chores adults do to take care of themselves and their families.  Not out of fear or wanting to be in control, but because it’s what adults do.  And, despite our best intentions, while things like this may reduce your risk of something happening, there’s no guarantee, hence, no real control.  How do I know this?  Because I know people who have taken every possible precaution and have still gotten COVID.  People who look both ways when they cross the street only to be hit by a car whose driver is impaired.  People who have never smoked who get lung cancer.  All we can do is our best to prevent things, but we’re not in control. 

So what about people who gather to protest for or against things for which they believe strongly?  As citizens of this country, we have been empowered to let our elected officials know what we think or believe through our voting, peaceful protest, writing letters or emails or paying them a scheduled visit.  This is just me, but I believe that, despite these rights, when people are afraid of losing control, this is where the fear and anger kick in.  But if you know you’re not in control, you can still do what you believe is right for as long as you want without the fear.  Change is inevitable, just maybe not on your timeline.

Some of you may label me a defeatist, but maybe I’m just old.  I have seen terrorism from the Cold War to Ukraine. I have seen Presidents come and go for 6 decades.  Some are pretty good, some not so good, but despite what we may want to believe, (and who we want to blame) even they’re not really in control.  I have practiced hiding under desks in case of nuclear attack and for an active shooter.  I read the horrendous things human beings do to each other every day, and as much as I would love utopia, I know we’re dealing with imperfect humans, none of whom are in control either.  Oh, they may think they are by doing unspeakable acts or by who they empower to do certain things, but that could change anytime when someone retires, dies or the next person in charge takes advantage of their ability to manipulate people and things.  Imperfect humans do this.

So, back to the air filter.  To my younger friends and colleagues, don’t live in fear, but empower yourselves by doing something kind and meaningful for yourself and others.  The choices we make can make a positive difference in the world. Don’t do it out of spite or to get back at someone, but because it’s the right thing to do. Then just be an adult, take care of your family and your home, and replace that air filter.