If someone ever tells you that going back to the classroom is like getting back on the bike, it’s not true.  Although it’s been decades since I’ve ridden a bike, so maybe it’s not such a great analogy.  The other day, a wise, much younger colleague shared with me that she too had gone back to teaching after being away from the classroom for a while and it took her until around Thanksgiving before she felt comfortable again.  So imagine my excitement, when six weeks into this school year I hit my stride.  Third grade, 1^st grade, 4^th grade, Kindergarten and 2^nd grade all ran without a hitch.  The lessons flowed, the transitions were smooth, the students were engaged and I was having fun.  I drove home feeling like YES, Judy has her groove back.  Then came Tuesday.

Tuesday was fine, not as smooth as Monday because some of my classes have found it difficult to get with Mrs. Bush’s groove.  I followed a young, energetic young man in this position and I’m old enough to be this person’s much, much, much older sister.  Humor me.  But Wednesday was coming and I would get back into my groove.  Unless of course a huge cold front moved through.

You know, there’s no research that says storms and full moons affect children but I’m here to tell you I have all the data you need.  While Wednesday is my long day of teaching, it’s usually fun and goes quickly.  But no, Wednesday could just as well have been the coming of the apocalypse with the way kids were behaving.  There was crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Things were thrown and ripped apart.  The tattling was endless.  If I said “take care of yourself please” once, I said it a hundred times.  At least half the kinders asked to go to the bathroom during a 50 minute class – one at a time.  And you don’t play that game with kinders.  I’ve had bodily fluids end up on my carpet before and it causes all kinds of crazy.

As you can imagine, the high that was Monday became great disappointment in myself and my ego being taken down a notch.  How am I, as a “teacher leader” supposed to help other teachers when I am struggling to do the job myself?  Going back to what that wise young colleague said, was that she discovered that she knew exactly what she was supposed to be doing, she just couldn’t physically or mentally do it.  That’s exactly how I have been feeling!  I know in my head exactly what I should be doing.  I see it when I visit teachers and I appreciate the great artistry of their teaching or I can make suggestions as to how they can make things better for themselves and their students. And yet I cannot physically make it happen in my own classroom.  At least not yet.

Monday was a glimpse of what had been in my previous years of teaching.  I had student charts filled out at the end of class and kids lined up in time for their teachers.  I had enough time to switch out my Quaver plans and set up other instruments and materials.  I could tie shoes and teach the lesson without blinking an eye. By Wednesday I was lucky if I could find time for a bathroom break and one time I had a class waiting for me when I returned.  I literally broke a sweat with those kinders trying to get them to play a couple of games and play new instruments.  It was exhausting.  I went home and crashed on the couch.  I’m so grateful for the other half of my job, sitting in that cubicle, planning visits to those teachers….

Maybe it’s a good thing to experience this as the real world, slap in the face experience rather than a theoretical one.  The theories are good as long as they can be executed with real kids, which are of course, the unknown factor here.  It causes me to pause and think that if I’M having issues, a brand new teacher may be really discouraged. Giving them unattainable goals (at least for now) is certainly not going to help in the retention department.  It is developing a type of empathy that I don’t think I had before and maybe it will help me find new ways to help my colleagues and keep me humble enough to ask for help when I need it.

So, I’ll get back into the classroom next week and keep working on those techniques and theories that I know so well and maybe I’ll get back to my real groove around Thanksgiving.  Just in time for the holidays.  Whose idea was this?