This meme popped up the other day with some long winded, pseudo inspirational thing about what someone would say to their younger self.  This got me thinking – what would I say to my younger self and how might it have changed my life?  It’s one of those things that makes your head explode if you think about it too deeply, but here are a few of my thoughts to share with you.

I would have told my younger self to say “no” more often.  Not only would it have been great training for my life right now (I still have trouble saying no), but I think of all the things I felt coerced to do that I didn’t want to do and/or was afraid to say no to.  Sometimes it was a person I wanted to impress, sometimes it was a person I wanted to like or love me.  I think I would have a lot more respect for myself if I had said “no” more often.

Don’t be so worried about what people think.  I grew up with someone who always stressed, to the point of absurdity, the need to not let people know who you really were or what you really thought because people weren’t going to like you if they knew who you really were.  This can be tied to the “saying no” thing as well and I still struggle with it.

Don’t jump into a profession just because it made you feel good in high school.  I’ve got to say, music in school saved my life in ways you wouldn’t believe.  It was the place where I belonged, where all my friends were.  The ones I couldn’t say no to or share who I really was.  Hmmm…. Anyway, I never considered any of my other strengths.  After all, my parents were sending me to college to meet my future husband, so what I majored in really didn’t matter, right?  Oh, it worked by the way.

I would ask about other options besides music education?  Writing, interior design, counseling?  There were so many options that my younger self never knew to consider.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate about kids and music education, but am certainly not the greatest teacher ever and I hate grading, as much as I feel assessment is necessary – not a good combo.  But, another topic for another time.

I would tell my younger self to live on her own before she got married.  Yep, I was one of those young women who literally went from her parents to her husband.  In a day.  Took my clothes and my wedding gifts and moved in with my brand new husband after a four day honeymoon, after which he left to go teach a band camp for a week.  It was August.  We were stupid. So I guess technically I lived on my own for a week.  Unfortunately it took me decades to figure out how to deal with life on my own if I needed to.  

I would tell my younger self to not sweat the small stuff. Again, something that would have really helped me during my adult journey.  I tell my students this all the time, but I personally tend to make everything a big deal.  Tied to the whole not saying no and not saying what I really think, I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I think they should and I hate making mistakes.  The house doesn’t have to be spotless, my work doesn’t have to be perfect. You have no idea how difficult it is to be married to someone who actually lives this motto of not sweating the small stuff.  Show off.

I would tell my younger self to be a part of nature more often.  Embrace the beauty of a sunset, the sound of the surf, the colors of fall, the majesty of the mountains.  Just use all of the senses and BE.  No pics to put up on social media.  Just sit and breathe. Maybe even by yourself.

I would tell myself that it’s ok to like being around people and NOT being around people.  Again, it took me decades to figure out that while I love hanging out with people, I can’t do it all the time.  It’s ok to sit in a corner and observe.  You don’t need to be a part of everything and you can say no if you need to and people won’t hate you if you do. I think I see a theme.

I would tell my younger self to wear what you want, to do your hair the way you want, no matter how old you are or what the styles dictate.  You’re only young once – experiment if you want but stick with what you like, no matter what anyone says or thinks.  It’s more important that YOU like you than it is that others like you.

Bored yet?  Or are you considering what you would tell your younger self too?  Today IS the younger self you will be tomorrow.  Did that make your head explode?  What will I do today that I won’t regret tomorrow?